Watershed - deciding to do this again
Reasons for starting master cleanse, description of liver cleanse
Date: 1/9/2014 6:36:49 AM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 1305 times I didn't set out to begin the master cleanse again, it came after a 2 day intensive meditation process and despair over the usual questions
Why don't I do what I know I can do?
How do I get past this block?
Why don't't I even want to?
Why do I feel like a prisoner in my own life which is pretty good on paper
Why have I never felt like I can get myself out?
At some point, this has to change, it never has yet, at some point I have to drive my own life.
And at this point, I hardly feel able to get out of bed.
But there is NOTHING wrong with me.
0n the contrary, I'm afraid of what I CAN do.
And what I CAN do, or should I say, what CAN be done through me, is the physical and mental healing of disease.
I'm not going to justify this statement too much here. I will talk a little more about it below. I had my doubts, I make this assertion based on medically verified fact and my personal experience. I make it with fear and withoiut pleasure, and I am afraid of this calling.
But if that is what it is, I cannot deal with this or anything else while fear keeps me in my bed, where I get fat, distracted, can't think, have brain fog and am swept up in extreme emotions which have no end and no focus.
Since I can't find the willpower to change this from the inside out, I am changing it from the outside in
with the Master Cleanse
Today is day 2. I am weak, but much more clear and less emotional. Began with the Liver Cleanse - which is recommended as prevention against the risk of developing gallstones or kidney stones by voiding the liver of its store of bile and other digestive liquids, in the hope that this sudden strong rush of liquid 'clears the pipes' of built up mineral deposits and salts that are the basis of such stones - during the fast these deposits can dry out and co-agulate more which is why the risk is there.
Anyway, that purging certainly had relief in it.
The liver cleanse is a horrible experience. I've done it a few times. But it does the job. My body can take most things I put in it, but I shudder at the thought of epsom salts - even diluted in apple juice. Actually the olive oil/grapefruit juice combo is easier for me to get down.
What follows is a night of wakefulness, disturbed stomach rumbles and weird digestion, and regular trips to the bathroom. I take in the epsom salt faster than the recipe suggests as my system processes faster - 2 x epsom doses 1 hour apart, and I moved to oil oil/grapefruit just 30 mins later as my bowel had begin to empty already.
Weak and exhausted the next day, but once everything passed through my system (with the usual evidence not of stones, but of threads and granular sludge which is signs of mineral build up - the sense of relief and release was worth it. And the peace of mind of doing things properly, since we have family history of kidney and gallstones.
And today I am far less emotional, and I know emotionality to the point of being ungrounded is something that takes me off balance. I have the clarity to begin this blog to keep myself on track, and start doing the other things to clear my system on all levels - from my health to my mind, to my emotional life and connections, to the clutter in my house.
And I'm now going to start on my house clutter. 0ne thing at a time.
But tomorrow, will have 3 cupboards cleared and kitchen floor washed is my tiny little ambition.
Note on the healing
Lets just say, I didn't believe this stuff was possible, until I saw it happening, and I have worked through most of the theology on this phenomena and I am a naturally sensible person inclined to seek good academic and scientific standards of learning for most things, and I'm also a sensible self-aware person and have put myself through all the mental health check ups I can find including the full medical range.
I'm left with the plain fact that this stuff happens. Through me. And with this as part of my experience, I refer back to theology which has reference points for such experiences and attributes them to God - or the devil (or choose your name for a dark force) so it seems very important to establish the provenance of such a remarkable thing arising unseen. And nowadays I pray a lot and put myself under the protection of God in the context I know God best which is the Christian tradition (although I have no sense that God ONLY responds to the name of Jesus. But Jesus was clearly a very good man and the Christ-ness of Jesus a merciful thing.)
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