Day 7: Day 2 of my Water fast - Still hang in there! by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: My Health Journey
by Sacristia

Day 7: Day 2 of my Water fast - Still hang in there!

My daily Journey to a healthier life style

Date: 11/2/2010 3:00:46 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 27158 times

November 1, 2010

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Sigh, it is not easy at all to fast when you are around people eating food. I know that the first three days is really hard and is more or less a state of mind, as I have to convince my mind that I will eat again, and to overlook the hunger pains that I am having. I am doing so well so far.

Since I am not eating at various times, I have to find other things to do. I am still continuing to read my various books, plus working on NaNoWriMo, which means National Novel Writing Month. During the whole month of November, I have to write 50,000 in thirty days. I started off well. I was hoping to write at least 6,000 the first day, but I only got to 3,296 words, which is over the daily 1, 667 and is half of 6,000. I am pushing myself to write 6,000 words today as well. My weekly goal is writing 15,000 words in the first week, which is 3,331 words more then the actually weekly 11,669 if you write at least 1,667 a day. So I am ahead. Yay!

I need to start reading my Bible, like I said that I was going to do, but haven't. My mind has been going all over the place, probably because I have nothing else to do but think, since I am not taking at least some of my day up by eating something. I have been thinking a lot about personal things.

I am a little bit stressed out because P. hasn't showed any activity of moving out. He doesn't want to work on the relationship, and help with the bills, so I have to put my foot down and say that he is no longer welcome living in my house. I am tired of supporting two other people, without any people.

It hurts that the relationship hasn't worked out after the years we have been together, (1 ½ year before the first breakup and currently another year). I realize now that it isn't me. It is him, because he doesn't want to help with bills, doesn't want to spend time with me, either with his son or alone. Lately, which has been really upseting me, the both of them have started eating their dinners in the spare bedroom when I am in the living room. I have noticed that if I am in the bedroom reading and relaxing, they eat out in the living room. So he is avoiding me. How very adult of him, after all I have tried to do to make him and his son's life with me enjoyable, loving and part of my life. Like my mother says “He is a taker and not a giver. He is always taking: food, money, living arrangements, but he very rarely ever gives back”. Sigh, she is so right about that. Maybe I have seen it more in the last month or so, because I have been asking myself “What has he done for me lately?” after I have done various things for him. It isn't an equal relationship. It isn't a equal anything. It is just a bunch of baggage for me. Sadly, a part of my heart still wants to try to repair what could be fixed if he put a little bit of heart into it. But I see that he won't, so I have to move on and not think about it much at all. I feel if I think about it too much, it might drive me crazy, because part of me wants to work things out with him.

I know the reason why I have been thinking so much is because I am not keeping myself busy enough since I am not eating. I have this problem every time fast, because a person doesn't realize how much time they take up in a day eating, and preparing food. I guess it a bit harder for me, as I enjoy cooking and creating different meals. I guess it is in my blood as my brother enjoys the same thing, as he has had several jobs in the past as a cook.

LIST OF THINGS I WILL TO DO TO KEEP MYSELF OCCUPIED

Read books
Crochet ( I could finish my Canna Blanket, which I want to do by Christmas Eve 2010
Write (work on my NaNoWriMo novel)
Take walks
Play video games
Clean my house and my car (my car really needs it)
Watch movies

I need to find more interesting things I can be doing while on this fast, so that I don't feel so bored.

MY GRATEFUL LIST:.

1.I am grateful I can take charge of my heath before it becomes a problem.

2.I am grateful that I can enjoy cool, clean water to drink, where there are many people over the world that do not have that.

3.I am grateful that I have been blessed with possession that I enjoy. I know that many people are not as blessed as I am. May I not become greedy or selfish with what I have. May I always enjoy the blessing that have been bestowed upon me.

4.I am grateful for the gentle cries of my pets, that remind me that they love me and depend on me to take care of them and love them.

5.I am grateful for my life.

WATER INTAKE: Over 24 ounces