Blog: Walking with God with my Fast
by Sacristia

Day 10 of my water fast

Day 10 of my complete water fast. I am still going strong even though the detoxing is horrible, as it makes me feel nausous, ALOT!

Date:   3/6/2009 1:40:20 PM   ( 13 y ) ... viewed 2249 times

I feel I am doing horrible. I feel so very yucky due to high ketones in my systems. Today it got so bad, that I wan't to puke up the water that I drank. I read somewhere that I should drink about 10 ounces of water or so ever 45 minutes in order to flush out the ketones that are forming. Really, at this point I am not that thirsty, but I makes sure I drink something because if I don't I really feel nausous after awhile. I hve already drank about 60 ounces of water today, just because if I don't, I feel very very nausous. I had to get up last night and drink 20 ounces as well, because it was really bad for me.

Last night was a very bad night for me. I got a bit upset and was crying about the loss, and I gave myself a horrible migraine headache! I took a shower to try to relax it, put a hot washcloth on my head to help deaden the pain, but of no avail. I just toss and turned all night trying to find a comfortable spot to put my head so the pain would go away.

Funny thing is that ever time feel asleep, I drempt about putting some index card into a slot and when I did, the pain would start and I would wake up again with my headache. I was thinking, " I need not to put that stinking card in that slot!"

I feel very willowy today. I am about 118 pounds and I have lost 7 pounds in ten days. I have noticed that the area around my ribs is very slim and you can't see my ribs but you can see the outline slightly, but that is the only place on my body at the moment. I have noticed my neck looks more skin and tall, which it has never been tall, since I am very short. LOL. The ring on my left hand is very loose that I have to be careful not to lose it. My left hand is not my dominate hand, so it has less muscle build up as my right hand does. So my fingers do look a bit skinny then my right hand. I must be calm to a point because I haven't bit my finger nails and they are growing nicely and you can see the whites of them, and they are starting to look very elegant at less at my prospective.

I have been thinking about food alot, but I am not in the least bit hungry. I guess it is because people around me are talking about eating and going out to eat and such that it makes me realize once again during a fast, how much we spend time eating, either alone or with others. It is much a part of socialization that it can be very hard to socialize due to that.

I have been fighting with God about things, not really fighting but just being stubborn about how I feel, and how my hopes were dashed against the rocks when I least expected them. I know I have to move on, but it really irks me when a couple of my friends just say " move on" as if it would be easy for them if it happened to them. Maybe so, because people can be very unfeeling nowadays. Not only do I miss my friend, but his 3 year old son. Yeah, so we dated for about 6 months, but that doesn't mean that I can just chuck it in the garbage as if it was nothing, because it wasn't. A day like today is so very nice, that it pains my heart that we would have went to the park with his son. Sigh.

Yeah, yeah, I am getting there. It isn't easy, but give me time, I will get there. Not everyone is on the same time line when it comes to healing. I lost alot of trust, no only with God, but with people in general. I had a friend yesterday ask me if I trusted him. I said that I know I can trust him, beause I can discern that, but I don't trust him, because I dont' want to trust anyone right now. Sometimes I don't even trust myself.

Oh well. I am kind of numb right now, which is nice. At least I am not upset or crying. I am just tired and numb. My headache has finally went away so I should be able to sleep well tonight, as long as I dont' act like a baby and cry.

As of this posting, I have 54 days, 8 hours and 23 seconds until my complete fast is over. My original end goal is April 30 but it will have to see once I hit Easter which is on April 12 and go from there, since I have to watch my body closly to make sure I don't get the true hunger pain before that end date. I will just see.

Trying to have more faith in God, it is a struggle, but some days are better then others. I guess that is very normal. I just have never questioned my faith before, so this is very hard for me to deal with.

Time for another drink of water. I feel nausous.

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