Day 1 - The torture begins by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: Walking with God with my Fast
by Sacristia

Day 1 - The torture begins

Fasting for the Lord, and correcting my life through fasting and prayer

Date: 10/9/2008 2:25:06 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 2202 times

Today the torture begins, because today and the next three days will be the hardest because my body will tell me over and over again to eat. I will not do that, at least I will try and pray my hardest not to do that. I will just drink a lot of water and think about various things. I am sure I will think of food every chance I get. LOL

Today is my first offical day of my water fast. I was planning on going on my fast sooner then today, but in order to do a correct fast, one has to prepare for it both physically and mentally. And I wasn't mentally ready for it, so I was working on getting in the right state of mind to do this. I know God wants me to fast, but I have to say that my body is less willing then my mind is.

Today, I have been focusing on why I am fasting and what changed I can incorporate into my life as well. I want to correct many things in my life. Being a woman, I tend to be an emotional eater because it is how my mother taught me. It is a horrible cycle, which I do not want in my life. I am not a huge over eater, but if I get upset and depressed, I will eat at times. It is a physical comfort when I have none. The world focuses so much on eating that people really never realize how often we think about eating.

I have fasted before with great results both physically, mentally and emotionally. The physical part is always nice, but it isn't something that I really need to focus on. I really don't see myself as being overweight, but it does make it hard to function when pants don't fit and I tire easily, when working.

Since I live alone, eating anytime I want can be a problem at times, especially when I am upset. I don't want to be an emotional eater. I do want to break that cycle before it gets out of hand and I end up becoming like 190 lbs or something like that.

It is time that I clean my house and make corrections to the problems that I have allowed to happen in my life and within my life.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13

The various things I have in mind when I am praying and fasting during this time. I would like to fast for 40 days or more like Moses, Elijah and Jesus or 21 days like Daniel, but it is really up to my body and to God. I really don't think that I will be able to do that for that long, because K. will notice since we have been hanging out alot as well as my mother would notice as well, since she is coming to visit in November. Oh well. I will just have to play it by ear.

These are the list of things I would like to see God move within my life.

1. I pray that I can see myself moving toward being more like the Godly woman in Proverbs 31.

2. I pray that I can see myself reading my Bible more and trying to apply it into my life in a day manner rather then just use it when I am heavy of heart.

3. I pray that God heals the pain in my heart regarding my dearheart, P, who my heart still loves even though our relationship has ended. And guide me to what direction is right to take regarding this issue.

I want to obtain the healing that others who seeked God with prayer and fasting obtained. I want God to touch me, heal me and counsel me. I have to remember those healed in I Samuel 1:5-11, 18-20,II Samuel 12:15-16, 22-23,Isaiah 58:8, and Acts 9:9, 17-19

4. I pray for God to move in my life regarding K, so that I might know if he is a person I should confide in and trust as a Christian and as a male friend. God knows that I have several different fears regarding this friendship. I know that fear is not of God at all, so I fast just as Jehoshaphat did when he had fear.

"And Jehoshaphat feared, and set himself to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast"

II Chronicles 20:3

5. I pray that God helps me control a bouts of depression and emotional eating that I have during times of stress and uncertainty.

6. I pray that God guide me to the right path to walk so I might do what is in His will and not necessarily my own.

I know during this fast, I have to be careful because I do not want to make a big deal out of it. I know that I will be posting entries here, but I do that so I might express my feelings and steps as I go through this fast. I do not do it to glorify myself, but God.

I must always remember this.

"Moreover when ye fast, be not as the hypocrites,of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; that thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret."

Matthew 6:16-18

With this fast, I want to humble myself before the Lord and be still and know He is God.

"I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting" Psalms 69:10

I know it will not be easy at all, but if I have God beside me, who can I fear? No one! My walk will be steady and sure. I might not enjoy parts of my fast, since I will be detoxing and stuff, but I must deal with the uncomfortableness of my body as my flesh is worked and plied as I fill my mind with His word. I must clean my house of things that are unhealthy for me. And to do so, it will not be pleasant, but I will do it anyway.

I hope no matter how long I fast, I can give God the glory because I love Him.

God bless anyone that might be encouraged by reading what I have to say. I am sure in the future it might seem more like rambling at times. I still hope it might help someone. :o)