Jenny, first, this is not a result of your giving oral sex to your partner if there was no contact with that area on you.
Second, it's not really the end of the world or the end of anything. I know how you feel, though, having been where you are a lot of years ago. It'll get better.
I'd really suggest that you visit the support forum over at http://racoon.com/herpes
and you should be able to get some additional support from some very knowledgeable ladies, some of whom are nurses. They were very helpful to me.
I'll also enable an email link in this post so you can email me if you want.