Re: What is an abusive narcissist and why do I only ever seem to get involved with them?

One thing I noted is that you seem to be maybe looking for that "madly in love" feeling?? Note the "madly"! lol . I was involved with the hitter the cheater and the verbal abuser, they were tornados roaring through my life, and the last one damn near killed me. The one thing I note today is - they all started being exactly what I wanted and man, was it passionate. One sip of them and I went "boom". I was smitten and once they knew I was smitten, it was on... once I decided that I had enough, I backed away from the idea that I knew anything about relationships and what was right for me. I mean, complete surrender. And I cried and I greived my relationships and my stupidity. I studied every bit on info on narcissists, partners of narcissists, and delved deeply into what my motivations were - it was the father thing !!! I started dating a man about a year later and he did not play the part I needed him to play, so at first I thought that he was not for me, but we dated and continued, and I kept waiting for the "boom" and it didn't happen. But what did happen was that our relationship started being like a nice slow river - it looks still and calm and runs deep and slow. This is new for me, sometimes it doesn't seem like love, but I do absolutely adore this constant, steady man who is loyal and normal and committed. So I sit very still and remember that the only kind of "love" I ever knew was very passionate and unhealthy, and then I get back in perspective. It has been over 2 years now, and I find that I care more than ever. There is something to looking to whether this person is a good man over a great lay or a passionate talker. All my jerks spoke beautifully and poetically of love, but never committed a loving action. My man today does not use those mind blowing words, but he shows me allll the time.

I hope some of this ramble helps you.

What I am saying is that you can recover. Educate , contemplate and be very honest with yourself. Tweet