Oh my goodness!

Dear 59694,

I was a child there! Or near there. Swam in Kits pool many a time. And I used to see some of the variety shows. I even learned how good the french fries and malt vinegar smell at the beach, from the concession stand.

The lady you mention is far too young to be me, and too pretty. She looks like a person who could help, happily, don't you think?

My heart goes out to the child you were. I comfort her, and talk of the world of the future, her future.

One thing you learned about her, yourself...there is something more to live for. Good girl! Well done! I am proud of you!

And, I am not kidding.

PJ, Pjangel,

I am proud of you, too. I know the cycle you speak about, and the many days of blank 'do nothing, go nowhere, see no one' depression/spacing-out/over-or-under-reaction. In fact, when I didn't know it was called depression, I used to repeat that phrase to myself.

Finally, I got the idea that I was just begging for trouble by thinking that, and I substitued the word "No!" It didn't take long to forget it. A substitution makes it easier. Later, I learned the word, "Cancel" from a friend who was unable to take negative stories people used to tell her.

After that I found I liked the word, "Applesauce"...it makes the world a little happier for a moment. I chuckle at myself.

Ladies, may I do an about-turn on you? ...Or, go off on a tangent.

My world has been happening very fast in the past few days. (Maybe it's the shifting of some gallstones. They say memories/echoes are buried in one's tissues.)

Stay with me, will you? I'm going to make a sharp turn to the right, right here.

My husband bought a huge block of aged cheddar cheese. He was so pleased with himself for thinking of it. We go through a lot of cheese around here.

Before that, we had grilled cheese and onion sandwiches twice in two or three days. And other bits of cheddar, too.

I expected to be bound up, and I wasn't disappointed, but it wasn't as severe as in years past, thanks to my better overall diet these days.

Then I went for a day or two without cheese. Certain things began to clear up.

Then my husband got labrynthitis (vertigo). He couldn't open his eyes without feeling dizzy and nauseous.

We got on top of that, though he is still in bed, but I was suddenly head cook and bottle-washer. (He has been doing most of the cooking for a couple of years, bless his heart.)

I needed to feed him tiny amounts of food. I made vegetable broths with parsley, ginger, garlic, and a tiny amount cayenne (very tiny!) in them. And, for his first real 'meal' I made what I call a "pickin' platter", little bits of things to tempt him, now that the time of spitting up had passed.

I put two small slices of cheddar on there, also. In the kitchen, I had been at the cheese, myself.

It came to me that someone had said that aged cheese is solid mold. And someone else had said that we often crave that which we are allergic to. I had even been writing about 'addiction to mold' on the Ask Humaworm forum.

Sure enough, my ailments became worse overnight. I was back to trotting to the bathroom every hour/hour and a half. Combined with inability to sleep for concern of my good man, and falling asleep while posting on the computer, I was not in good shape. Luckily, I was able to snatch an hour here and there during the day, and to keep up a happy face while tenderly feeding my patient.

I took a little of my magnesium oxide mixture, with lemon juice. I drank water.

Today, I made my herbal Liver Flush tea and sipped it all day, more or less. By this afternoon, doing dishes, I began to feel the contractions of my gallbladder (area) like gangbusters! I began to moan each time. Then I began to worry a little, but kept it to myself.

This evening I fell asleep while posting. (This is not the first time.) Something changed while I slept. I could still feel the stuck stones, but they are now slightly lower...refreshingly so. Worry vanished.

I still haven't finished the supper dishes...I seem to have to do them in stages, so the pressure in the gallbladder area doesn't build up. I come back to the computer for a sit-down break. That seems to help wonderfully.

It is 12:44 a.m. I need to go finish the dishes now, and then I'll head to bed. I am not tired, but it will be nice to drift off.

Please forgive me if I am rather self-focussed right now.

Tomorrow should be another interesting day.

I'll try to get those links for you in the morning, PJ.

My best, my friends.

fledgling