overcomming abuse

Pretty much all of my life I have been abused, when I was a child it wasn't physically, more like verbally and mentally. My dad was nowhere to be found and my mom was an alcoholic, I would always go to sleep to the sound of her and her boyfriend fighting. Every time I would ask my mom questions she would either tell me some %¤#&!§-answer like when I asked where chocolate milk came from she said it came from brown cows. That was one of the few questions she actually did answer, she usually just told me to shut up every time I asked her anything. Then she quit drinking due to DUIs and AA meetings and started doing methamphetamines instead. The cupboards were always bare and she was always either really high or comming down, the come downs were the worst because I would always get screamed at by her for little to no reason at all.
Now I have a lot of mental problems (not to mention health problems) because of it and I always seem to end up with boyfriends who beat on me. I have been told that I act like a crackhead when I am mad and I have never even touched meth. I know it is probably because how my methed out mom acted around me when I was growing up. Does anyone know of any ways I could help naturally heal my personality from these flaws that I inherited from my mother? I can't afford counseling.