I hope you are not just... whining here. Either you are serious about cleansing, or you are just... messing with yourself.
People ask how I have the "willpower" to do something like a 59 day fast. I tell them it is not willpower. I am TRULY repentant of the sins I have committed against my poor body!
Did you read my post above? I made it special, just for you, to show you that God AND a lot of us are here to help you.