Yeah, I understand more than anything that there are reasons why good people go bad, but, don't PERPETUATE it, LET THE PAIN AND MISERY END. The first person you are hurting is YOURSELF (only because he doesn't know what you've done). You HAVE been hurt and treated disastrously and shouldn't have been, but, extend your heart enough not to do likewise to other people, that's the beginning of healing. In case you misunderstood, That's what YOU DESERVE...HEALING.