My problem isn't sex. I'm not the type of person to have sex with someone I just met in a club 3 hours ago. I have to really know a guy well and respect him and he must respect me and we have to love each other (the lovin will eventually go sour like it always does lol) and we have to be in a relationship first before I will sleep with him. I know many people who have no problem sleeping with someone they just met, or they wake up the next morning and they find a "surprise" sleeping next to them and they don't even know this person's name. I know many people (male AND female alike) who take this carefree approach to sex. I know guys AND girls who've slept with more than 30 people, and they have no conscience about cheating on a girlfriend or boyfriend, they just hope their significant (how significant!!!) other will never find out. I'm not one to pass judgment on how they live their life, everyone has to live their life according to their own rules but this just isn't me. That's just how life is nowadays for certain people (more often than not), but it's not how I want to live my life. I agree with you that being friends first is important, and I've tried that on numerous occasions. What I've found is that these "friends" turn out to be less respectful in the end than some drunken loser at a club. Every single one of these so-called "friends" has tried to take advantage of our friendship. They always ask for sex with "no strings attached". And it hurts more to hear those words coming from a friend you've trusted all along than some loser you met at a club. I'll just tell the loser to go to hell, but if it's your friend who says those words to you it hurts more to think this person can even ask that and doesn't respect you, and thinks this little of you. That's why I'm just convinced people don't know how to be faithful anymore and that's what makes me afraid of commitment. I don't know but I don't think I'm ever going to settle down because I'm too fearful of commitment (you work hard at a relationship just to end up divorced--to me it's not worth the trouble in the first place)