Re: What books are you picking back up? /very long post

Wow! Lotsa neat books there I must say. Thank you very much. I will most definately check into those...some of them I have heard about before. I am just getting into yoga & meditation, so, am new at those...I wrote a list this weekend of the things I want to do, learn & try & some rewards for my goal achieving etc...:o)

I too love reading & learning & well, I just haven't been doing as much of it lately as I used to (or any actually). I love learning about different cultures & spirituality etc, I am very interested in it all. That is one of my goals for this year is to get back into that......I have started where I left off before...but I will start the books & excersises from the beginning again. The good thing with knowledge & learning, is that you don't forget what you learnt,even if you choose to not remember at that time if that makes sense?

I got seperated from my exhusband just over 5 yrs ago (after a 6 month marriage but we lived together for 4 yrs prior). I found then that it gave me a push to find the me that I had lost over the past few years we had been together & other tragic events that had happened in my life...I guess I just let the negativities swallow me up & eat at me as I sunk (which I am finding is happening again if I don't make some changes). I started reading then to find a better life & the old me I knew that wanted to come back. Before my ex & I met, I used to fast all the time to cleanse my body, I ate healthy, was into herbs, I was thin, in shape, spiritually well, was totally in tune with my intuitiveness & dreams, life was grande; couldn't be better, but things took a turn, a few times over....I sank after & hit my bottom I guess you could say, it has taken me yrs to get back up to where I am now...5 yrs after my separation I am still working on it. I had a car accident a year & a half ago that set me further back, but now I am ready for the last bit I have to go & I have come a long way in the past 11 yrs...guess I just have moments where I platued for a bit there...lol.

I have a companion bible that I read through after my seperation (its made out like a book) and that gave me strength by the stories in it. Then I read a book called Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood...this book was fascinating for me as it helped me so much on my journey & helped me to jump out of a viscious circle I was in over & over for years, it really helped me realize so much. After that, I read Cutting Loose; Why women who end their marriages do so well, then The Book of Life, then Chronicles of the Cross. I was confused over my failed marriage, so I read mostly all of the Mars & Venus books, even went to hear John Gray speak, then I realized I still had massive issues over a fiance that passed away when I was 19 (11 yrs ago), so I read more healing books & grief books & I put myself into therapy & counselling for 3 yrs....then I did a crystal healing, and a full cleanse like this one, and well, I was on my way again...read Conversations with God, Care of the Soul by Thomas Moore, The Celestial Phrophecy, Simple Abundance..I then moved myself & my children to a different city for a new start & we learnt to live more simple (I was pretty extravagant before)..it was great...I started to read the Seat of the Soul (almost finished it), and Life Strategies, Something more; Excavating your Authentic self, and I had just bought One Day my Soul Just Opened Up & In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant. I was just starting the excersises in the books & doing a daily journal when I had my car accident. I haven't really read since then. It's like I just stopped the night before the accident.....Weird hey? Anyways, I have spent the past year & a half working on trying to heal my injuries etc...getting well again..I did some acupuncture (costly), physio, even have tried crystals, gems etc, bought books on herbs & healing herbs, oh, I did buy another book, & cracked that one open today, You can Heal your Life by Louise L. Hay. Doctors tend to keep giving meds & pills & I am sick of them. I live in chronic pain now & have it daily, I can't see how 6 advil + a day is even helping, among the other stuff they give...hahaha. So, I don't want them anymore.

So, that is part of the goal for myself in this cleanse, to get me where I was heading before I had my setbacks, which are just setbacks that we learn more from, even if we can't see that....I would also like to elimate 1 & 1/2 yrs of daily meds, pain killers, sleeping pills, alcohol, nicotine, you name it, & all the junk food that I have been eating etc that all compounds to make one more unwell, that added extra fat on my body & I want my complexion back (which I know is bad from meds & too many toxins). I didn't think I could do it, but I quit smoking & Tuesday will be 3 months for me, that is the biggest accomplishment (other than coming back from my injuries of my accident as far as I have), that I know all my goals are so close within reach now...I just have been scared to go after them I guess for some reason?

My house even looks like it was turned upside down & then flopped right side up again...lol...I need to work on that & thought, well, this is all the perfect time for everything to all work together :) After the accident, I couldn't do a whole lot, so the clutter built up, the plants & flowers all died :( (had over 40), just things like that...I am ready to have the life in my house back etc. :o) I am really looking forward to tomorrow & starting this.

It is spring, just after Easter, I think the timing is good for me, it is at a time of year where I deal with emotional issues every year at this time & I am ready for some closure & ready to move on. I think it is a good time for myself to do this & my quitting smoking was the biggest challenge for myself, that I know I can do anything now within myself since that has been my biggest fear in the past 10 yrs. :o) This Oct I am turning 30, and I really want this year to be a changing year for the better for me; I feel it is my year, kinda like a new life & new me (but the real me back). I am looking very forward to my 30's & 40's & I plan to enjoy them wholeheartedly. :o)

I am sorry to have gone on so long & well, guess I went way off topic too...hahaha......

Hope you all enjoyed my little (long) story...lol...guess it is also my way to tell me & others I guess why I am doing this & starting tomorrow...for me, its kinda like the day before a trip & you are getting ready, like I know within myself I am going on a journey, it just won't be as fun as Disneyland, it will be more like a backpack trip up the mountains in the cold rain, sleet, fog & snow to achieve personal satisfaction & gratitude when you finally see the sun above the clouds as you stand at your goal mark & plant your flag. For me it is to get my body set for the real fun trip like Disneyland which will come after when I feel so great & unclogged & everyday will be more sunny cuz I will feel it inside & out & will be above those clouds! :o)

Becky :o)