Your husband is certainly not being very considerate and I don't think you should be worrying about the effect on other people, especially since "other people" insist on being selfish and letting you suffer with something that runs as deep as 39 years. Your husband is a special case because he is not just "other people", it is not only his God given duty to care for his wife (in sickness and in health), but, how can he respect himself if he is going to allow his wife to suffer?