"Reasons To Be Cheerful - Part Three"
(i remember there was a song by Ian Dury & Blockheads with the above title :)
I remember that at some point of this Unbelieveble Wake Experience (or, more properly, at some angle of this all-directions-at-once Simultaneous Awake Event) i realised that i'm experiencing something i've read about so many times (it was then i think about seven or so years that i've been reading and striving about 'spiritual things' in life), and yet, it was TOTALLY DIFFERENT than anything i ever imagined by reading about it. Unfortunatelly, when i put it to words, it sounds
exactly the same as all these descriptions. But, as i said, there's simply no other words to put it, because it simply IS like that, no matter how dodgy it may sound (e.g. when you say "all is Love", or "you are God"). But that's just the WAY IT IS.
Now, at this point i 'said' to this Father-Person-who-I-was: "Wow! From the literature i so eagerly read, i gathered that the world around us was an illusion, a 'Maya'. And I now see that everything is actually INFINITELY MORE REAL than i ever imagined!". Because that was another aspect of the experience/feeling: everything is so THERE. Or so HERE. EXISTING, real beyond imagination, and eternal.
To this, the Father 'said': "I'll show you what IS NOT real. THIS is the Illusion, this is Maya" - and he 'pointed his finger' at the multitude of people that were walking along the alley behind the cathedral. And His heart grew SAD. He was very saddened by what he was showing me. It was heart-breaking, to say the least, to see/feel this Ultimate Sun Of Happines Love And Joy grow sad.
I looked, and there were people passing along their way to shops, jobs, homes; each in his/her own thoughts. And above the people, there was some thick layer of something, stretching in all directions where there was people, starting from approx. meter or two above heads, and being about a dozen or so meters thick. Something ghastly, some floating layer of stand-alone permanent spasm, or kinda soul-cramp. Like a smoky dark dark flat cloud, only i didn't physically see it, so it wasn't literally dark, obviously. I more kinda felt it from the inside, like some kind of magnetic field. I guess in fact the field (like in physics) is the best word.
I saw/felt that this cloud is made from WORRIES.
People were walking under it, walking in their thoughts, and it was constantly being fed by peoples' worries, worries about work, family, survival, future. From the spasm in people's hearts/souls was being made this dark something which was pressing people's shoulders, necks and heads. When i remember that scene, it always seems to me that all the people i saw were walking as with a heavy burden, all with bent shoulders and looking downwards, and yet not seeing the ground, being so very much in their own heavy thoughts, but i guess it wasn't really that way - there must have been people smiling and laughing, and looking around them. Maybe it's because God was showing me this worryness and unneccesary burdens that i remembered it that way; or perhaps i was intuitivelly seeing deeper into their souls than the outwardly visible (or conscious) cherfullness.
And God was so saddened by all this worryness and this field/cloud because while walking around with their heavy burdens, they failed to see the Existing Paradise around them. Because, that was another aspect of this Moment One of the Universe: God didn't create Earth, God created Paradise, the Heavenly Garden from the Bible, and we are still in that Garden, it/we never went away, we just forgot about it, and focused on our little selves don't see it anymore. But the
fact is: WE NEVER LEFT THE GARDEN OF EDEN. 'Adam' never left the Garden, we were never 'thrown out' of it. It would be something God would NEVER DO. Not THIS God, and luckily, He is the only one there is. 'Adam' (Man) used to walk around the Eden and talk to God, Bible says. Then, after the Three of Knowledge incident, he was thrown out in punishment. In fact, he (Man, Adam) only stopped talking to God, and started talking to himself. But he is still in Eden, and God is still around the (every) corner, loving him, and waiting eagerly for the man to start talking to Him again, instead to his troubled self.
I don't know how the experience ended, except that as soon as thoughts (more precisely, WORDS, or thinking in words) started re-appearing, the Feeling was flying away, and fast. This sad God and truobled people were, i think, the last still-in-it impression. Soon i was again Karo, Karo who remembered seeing God face to face, Karo sitting under a tree (although, visually, i never left the spot), Karo SO stunned at what he saw that, when after some time i rose from the bench to walk away, i realised that the red car that used to be parked like a one meter from me, was gone. Someone must have come, started the engine and drove the car away, but i never saw it, being so puzzled at what i experienced :)
As for how long the experience lasted, it is absolutely impossible to say, probably because 'during it', there was no time. It was happening in eternity, which is always here and never leaves. But in physical terms, i guess it might have lasted anything from few seconds to an hour. But that's just an educated guess, it might also have been one tenth of a second, or few hours. I don't know. Nor i do remember how the rest of the day went, or how i got to my home town. I mean, i know i in the end went to these friends, and i did take a train home, but i can't imagine how i was able to function, or communicate and socialise directly after the experience.