Experience No. 1 - contin'd

At the same time, i saw that 'everything' around me was just one thing. I saw/knew that there is no 'things', there is just One. Now, i remember reading before about One, but i always assumed the notion is a philosophical/mystical construction (or de-construction) trying to communicate (and rather poorly) the essence of being, and that somehow everything is one. But now i was kinda amused at seeing that it is just One in front (and all around and inside) of me, and that it is no construction, but that there's simply no other way to call it, because it simply is One. And I was that One (not Karo, mind you, but Me).

Now goes a paradox. Although i was so strongly aware of the incredible hugeness of Time, at the same time i clearly saw that there IS NO TIME. Literally. The change somehow exists, but nothing is 'passing'. There is but One Moment, and it is Now, and it is the very First Moment of the Universe. Because, the next moment NEVER CAME. The very first moment of Creation, when God created the World with it's myriad of things and beings, never passed. It is still here (i.e. now) and will be here and now forever, and the next moment will never come. Somehow, the passing of time is an illusion. Nothing is passing, nothing is comming, everything just IS, now, here, and for ever and ever, eternal, everything and everyone. And all one. There's no two things, there's no two persons, there's just one, and i am that one. It is Me, and I am Karo, and I am Rudensky, and I am Pale Blue Tint and I am everyone else, because all these 'people' don't really exist, they're all just characters in a story, words in the endless sentence that God utters in this First and Only Moment of All Time.

Speaking of God, in some moment i realised that there is Someone in the picture i'm seeing. Someone was shining and smiling from every atom of air, from every atom of cathedral bricks, of leaves of the tree, from every direction, left, right, up, down, in, out. Actually there's no word for the 'expression' on the face of this Person - calling it a smile or laughter is like calling the chinese Great Wall a rain worm. It is like a smile on a face (or in a heart) whose every atom is midday Sun, radiating the sum energy of all gallaxies from every point of it (smile).

Now, when i say i saw a face smiling, it just means that i saw an all-permeating Someone, who you could call invisible, because there was no visible face, but He was actually MUCH MORE visible than anything else. He was shining FROM everything, but He was at the same time IN FRONT of everything... i don't know how to say that properly. Seems God is not 'hidden in' everything, He is hiddent in front of everything. And he didn't seem hidden, it is that we don't see him for our reasons, not because he's hidden or anything (although, in the other experience i was mentioning, i felt He was hidden, and invisible, on purpose, having GREAT (even childish) fun watching us walking around not seeing Him.

Just like with the One, with this person thare was no other way to call him, but Father. It turned out that that too is not a manner of speech, but a literal truth. Not Father-in-the-sense-of-our-creator, but literally our father, the only one there is, and can be.

And strangely enough, I was Him. And He was Me, and there was NO paradox about me seeing him kinda like 'in front' of me, and even 'talking' to Him, and at the same time me being Him. Because there is just One, one Thing, one Person, and it is Me and it is Him and it is Father and it is One. One, Him, Me, You, Everything - one.

And He was Love. Also literally. All-encompassing, All-embracing, All-loving, All-kissing LOVE was pouring from his smile/heart onto everything and everyone from all directions in endless quantities per nanosecond, but he also WAS love, and in fact everything was Love. I realised that Love is ALL THERE IS. Somehow, the picture we see - or matterial world if you call it that way - IS MADE FROM LOVE, to the last bit of every atom. THERE IS NOTHING BUT LOVE in Universe, and universe IS Love IS our Father AM Me.

It is utterly impossible to imagine the love/shine/warmth that emanates from Him. Or, to put it more simply, HOW MUCH he loves (no, ADORES) every one of us, in every moment of our lives.

Sorry for the growing number of CAPS, but i'm growing tired of -ing the emphases :)

Continued in next post.
(i've decided to try to pour this in one go, and then i go to sleep)

 

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