The Incurables Program (first go) Days 13 and 14

Day 13 (Tuesday): I got up early and I went to bed early. That was my main victory for the day.

Day 14 (Wednesday): Had a day off work but could barely move. Really tired. At least I went to Trader Joe’s and got some melatonin, plus some lemons and limes – for when I switch to the kidney/bladder flush. Right now I’m still attempting to do the liver/gallbladder.

I’m mulling over these various adjustments:

(1) “Keep the engine going” -- Working on figuring out a way to think and feel that will keep me moving, even when my body is fatigued and circumstances are difficult.

(2) “Potency” – If I don’t have the time and/or energy to do everything, I ask my intuition which steps would be the most effective or potent for this day – and lead to transforming my total situation. Then I do those steps first.

(3) “Honor system” – Sometimes if I do the Program (with no exceptions), I get so weak I become non-functional. That’s probably because I’m trying to do it while earning a living. So now, if I have to make an exception, I just ask my intuition which “exception” will enhance my healing and which will impede it? (That’s my distinction between “honor” and “cheating”.) I keep scanning possible exceptions until I find one that is still consistent with healing. Then I choose that one.

Thank you all for caring about this process! It feels very weird to be this detailed. In the past, if I reported information that helped me or my attempts to start a healing program, my friends and relatives looked at me with deep concern and unease as if I were too preoccupied with it all – instead of taking their advice to just "go out there and live!” It was such a relief to read Bob’s Story and see proof that you can be a good-willed and highly-motivated person but have a hard time just “going out there and living” – because you’re sleep deprived, have symptoms of low thyroid, and look and feel like you have the flu and mono all the time. It was like having my sanity confirmed.

I think the cruelest part of this whole thing (beside not feeling good and not being able to make your dreams come true --despite the immense good fortune of having been born in this country) is to have people believe that you’re stuck because there is a psychological “pay-off” for you (otherwise you’d hop up and live) and you are invested in being limited and having problems. That’s the worst. So it is such a kind experience for me to have found this message board where there are people who care about whether I win or lose and who trust that I want to be well. Many thanks, once again. And blessings and prayers to all of you with your equally or even more rigorous challenges!

Scottie

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