I see no Future.....

I can't sleep cause i'm itchy. I tried crying myself to sleep but the stress aggrevated the urge to itch so I stopped. I need someone to talk to, an outlet for my life that went so wrong.

Let me tell you about the eczema that destroyed my life. I can't look in the mirror anymore. Cause I don't know who is looking back. Rashes all over my face, my skins dry and gluggy, my eyes red. How did it become this way, i can't remember. It was so long ago, I can't remember when it started, but i know what it has done.

I don't go out much. I spend days in my darkened room. If i can't see myself or if no one can see me, i am happy. I feel no pain in the dark, it doesn't judge me, it can't see me. If I do go out, I wear sunglasses, and a hat, and look down. No eye contact cause I do not want to see people looking at me. Without my disguise i've been mistaken for a drug addict. I've never thought about taking drugs in my life although i look the part and labeled.

How can anyone take me seriously in this state. My education has suffered. I fail to attend. When I wake up i contemplate whether I should go to school instead of what should I learn. I don't end up going. My potential scared by my problem. All those years to get into University, and i'm on the fringe of getting kicked out. The work is not hard, only coping with my eczema is.

My self-esteem is low. I'm 21 years old, wondering in my dark room what might have been, but will never be. It doesn't go away. It gets worse, i'm losing control. I pray for it to go away. It has destroyed, me, then i destroyed myself. My only comfort is in my darkness, I see myself how i should have been, I looked so happy. But in reality....I have no future. I need help. :( Tweet