How do you "KNOW"?

I post on the Depression and suicide support forum frequently, as I am desperate. I have posted here as well. I read so many postings and you all seem so peaceful and seem to "know" that there is a God. I'm about ready to pack it in because no matter how much I have prayed over the past 7 years nothing has come to me. What is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I go to therapy. I try, I really try, and I am about to give up. Dark Night of the Soul helped; however, my question remains, how do you "know"? There is a difference between believing (or faith) and knowing. I really don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop, and it never does. Not trying to be funny here, but I've asked and I've not received. What am I doing wrong? A person can only take so much.
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