If it sounds like a duck

10/01/2003 Archived Entry: "How gullible are you?"

Back in late 2000 and early 2001, some guy (or bunch of guys) calling himself "John Titor" wove an intricate fiction on the Internet about being a time traveler from the year 2036, sent back by the military to find an old IBM 5100 computer from 1975. As Dr. Evil might say: Riiight. Okay, I'm sure someone who swallowed this malarkey is going to jump on me for stripping this well-constructed pack of lies down to a TV logline, but really, fifteen seconds of critical thinking and it's all over. And I find it pretty damn appalling that so many people seem ready-- even eager-- to believe this junk.

What do I think? It was a hoax, plain and simple. The guy (or guys) who came up with it were survival nuts who also happened to be computer geeks, and wanted to have a bit of fun. They posted to Art Bell's web site, for crying out loud! You can rationalize it all you want, find meaning in all the coincidences, but you don't even have to read between the lines to see it.

Let's start with the most obvious fallacy. The johntitor.com web site claims:

John said he would not make predictions or tell us what happens in the future, he did make enough comments that leave a trail of what might be called predictions.
However, according to the same site, "John Titor" said in a posting on November 4, 2000:
A world war in 2015 killed nearly three billion people.

This isn't even about the substance of the hoax itself. This is about the other guy, the one who registered the johntitor.com domain name, spent days scouring the Net for relevant information, and then more days putting it all on a web site. How the hell can you say the second sentence above "might be called [a] prediction?" There's no ambiguity there! If you can't wrap your head around basic facts, how can your judgment in any other matter be sound? What scares me the most is that I'm pretty sure it's not a hoax-within-a-hoax. The second guy actually and truly believes the first joker. Shudder.

But let's get back to why I think "John Titor" was a survivalist. Here's another of his gems which could, I suppose, possibly be called a prediction (all emphasis below is mine):

There is a civil war in the United States that starts in 2005. That conflict flares up and down for 10 years. In 2015, Russia launches a nuclear strike against the major cities in the United States (which is the "other side" of the civil war from my perspective), China and Europe. The United States counter attacks. The US cities are destroyed along with the AFE (American Federal Empire)...thus we (in the country) won. The European Union and China were also destroyed. Russia is now our largest trading partner and the Capitol of the US was moved to Omaha Nebraska.
Oh, yeah. It gets better:
(In response to the question: "Is there anything we can do to prepare for the war you are describing?")
I tried to consolidate your questions into a basic list. I hope this helps.
1. Do not eat or use products from any animal that is fed and eats parts of its own dead.
2. Do not kiss or have intimate relations with anyone you do not know.
3. Learn basic sanitation and water purification.
4. Be comfortable around firearms. Learn to shoot and clean a gun.
5. Get a good first aid kit and learn to use it.
6. Find 5 people within 100 miles that you trust with your life and stay in contact with them.
7. Get a copy of the US Constitution and read it.
8. Eat less.
9. Get a bicycle and two sets of spare tires. Ride it 10 miles a week.
10. Consider what you would bring with you if you had to leave your home in 10 min. and never return.
Wait, there's more!
Russia's enemy in the United States is not you, the average person. Russia's enemy is the United States government.
And here's the cherry on top:
The civil war in the United States will start in 2004. I would describe it as having a Waco type event every month that steadily gets worse. The conflict will consume everyone in the US by 2012 and end in 2015 with a very short WWIII.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! I suppose I should be grateful that "John Titor" is only perpetrating an Internet hoax and not holed up in a cabin in Montana making mail bombs. Then again, since he stopped posting in March, 2001, I don't really know that he's not doing the latter right now. Hmm.

I'd like to close this topic with some actual wisdom from snopes.com:

Even if a prophecy contains something that makes no sense whatsoever, believers will find a way to make it fit.

People believe what they want to believe. I don't just believe that, I know it. And it makes me sad.

But wait! It's my birthday. I should be happy. And I am happy. Especially after watching Gilmore Girls tonight. Copper! Boom!

Tweet