Re: personality changing...

The thing that makes this so bad is I fought this hard for nothing. I crawled my way out of mental anguish just to be brought back to it by this disorder. I hate my life. I can't even face life. I can't face people.

I heard my nephew and his friend downstairs talking about me. My own family isn't a comfort for me. I asked my nephew if he was talking about me and he said yeah you smoked my weed. I don't know wether I believe him or not.

Last night I went downstairs to get coffee. Then I went down later on and someone had sprayed febreeze downstairs. I know it was because of me. What other reason would they have to spray it? I just feel like my life is over. I can't find comfort in anything. There's always something going wrong.

To be honest I don't know what I'm fighting for. For a while I thought things would get better but now I don't know what I'm doing. I just wonder why I didn't die when I tried to commit suicide before. Things just get worse and worse as time goes on.