I used to be friendly and was a positive person. Now, I try not to speak. The odor that comes out of my mouth is worse than the odor being emitted through my pores.

Some people view me as being standoffish, but I'm trying to do them a huge favor.

Some people have forgotten at work that at one time I didn't smell and they don't seem to make the connection that it could be a medical condition. Worse yet, some people are very vocal about it and tell people within ear shot of us that we smell so we can take the hint.

It's these people that slowly eat away at our self esteem and make us what are becoming. I've had this odor for 6 yrs now but the comments don't affect me as they used to.

At first, I was embarrassed and mortified. What could it be? Then the comments started and stress was added the equation. After a while, I just started not caring as much what people thought because it was so mentally and emotionally exhausting. There are still days that it gets to me but not as before.

The best thing to be is cordial/nice. They can't fire you for a medical condition but they can fire you for not being a "team player."

I feel like you sometimes luckyhope, I think of it like you can't give what you didn't get you know what I mean, people treat us so cruel and heartlessly sometimes how can we be warm and empathetic. Also I read about when you're depressed being so into your own pain you don't realize other people's pain so I think that's true for me sometimes kind of like burnout. Also sometimes I don't get what people are complaining about like a piece of garbage on their desk, meanwhile I've been stinking every day for over 20 years there is no comparison I feel. So I think it all adds up.

One thing I don't get is why good wonderful people suffer while the horrible mean people prosper. I was watching a vid about how a janitor at a store got beat up by some gang members because he was wearing blue. I thought about it and I was like I bet they smell fine and are happy for the most part but they are heartless It makes me wonder is there justice in the world?

People talk about karma but is it even real?

That's very interesting Luckyhope...

I think it's impossible to have FBO and not see a change in the way you think and act. Maybe it's because we have a lot of bottled up anger, or it might be a defense mechanism against others' subtle (sometimes not so subtle), cruelty.
It's common I guess :/


But are you ok with it?

The only thing that matters is being true to yourself. If you want to be a kind, caring, compassionate person, be that person through your actions. If you want to be the opposite of that, that's ok too, always be true to yourself.

I was a very shy kid, classic "comstantly trying to please others" type of thing. Disliked any form of conflict, I was very respectful, kind, and always put others first. The thing is, I was also scared. Lived in fear; of society, of opinions, of not fitting in, of talking to that girl, of ending up a 'failure' in life... just, the world was too much.

But FBO helped me grow out of that. it helped me wake up and see that the world is a war zone, and nobody gives two shits about you ( maybe family, in which case, you're lucky to have them). I'm a kind person, I want everyone to be happy and I show it in my actions toward my family and friends. but I'm also a f***ing a**hole. Why? because f*** people. I couldn't go on pretending the world was something other than what it is. People will pile shit on you until you start shoveling it back. So I try not to f*** with people or put folks down (although sometimes I slip :and make an ass if myself :/ it happens) but if they want conflict that's what they'll get.

I remember around the time that change started, I was at Target trying to buy something and I also needed 60 dollars cash back. And so obviously I'm waiting in line and everybody is silently freaking out about that terrible smell. And me being anxious, I start to sweat like a pig. Well I get to the cashier, everyone's still uncomfortable, whispering and shit, and I just try to act friendly with him saying "how are you?" smiling and what not. The guy was very cold, and you could tell he didn't want to interact with me much. Then I find out that it's a 40 dollar cash back limit, so I say ok, no problem, I'll just do this transaction, get a pack of gum (reach for a pack), and take 20 cash back from that transaction.

So then this motherf***er gets a look on his face, a grimace of
disain. and with a tone superiority asks to see my ID. I was kinda stunned for a second, but I read the situation and said something similar to:

"Listen, the whole time I've been in line you haven't asked a single person for their ID. So unless there's a written policy against making two purchases or smelling bad in your store, can you f*** off and do your job"

Instantly the whole scene changed. People stopped coughing, people stopped whispering, and the guy quickly processed the pack of gum and gave me my money, all the while mumbling some bullshit about how sometimes people steal cards and try to empty them via multiple cash back transactions in stores (haha, what, that's why I knew my pin right you f***ing twat. I think I know what he was referring to, people do steal CREDIT cards (was using debit) and you can get cash back with them at some stores, that obviously did not apply here).

So he hands me my receipt when it's all over, I say thank you, have a great day, and he gives me the biggest smile since Louis Armstrong's "What a Winderful World," He says 'yes, you too, have a good day' and I was on my way.

That's when I knew I was destined to be an on-and-off douchebag. And it stuck with me even after my odor improved. That's life for ya :|

yes i also change a lot . i dont care about others my family and specially i dont feel any love . i think its always worst to be with someone near me. Never experience to have a girlfriend. what a sad life.
i hope one day 1 got the answer i will forget the all pain.

Of course! It makes a lot of sense if you think of it... Having bo is socially problematic..

haven't been on here in a while but yes i did,it made me more reclusive and obsessed it and more conscience of other people's reactions to my presence,it's normal you turn inward but the worst ting to do is become bitter which is easy to do,been there got the shirt, pants and also a pair of shoes to match but yeah daily i have to pray because it's not easy sometimes you want to cuss someone out at times but you're a christian and you ant to ..yeah i sometimes want to cuss someone out :) but God helps me to ignore and even pray at times for them and myself for mercy,grace and understanding. I ave to remeber I'm not alone and he's there i remind him wht he's said and thank him for his help-it's not always easy but 'doable' because in the heat of the moment you can forget to ask God for help and peace.it is normal to pull back from being as outgoing because of fear of bad reactions,rejection and/or mistreatment. God can help us to not be bitter otherwise we can become very mean and incompassionate.you have to ask yourself if that's how you'd like to be or become if not God can help us to not become heartless and also help us to gain wisdom-ability to use the info we get to benefit ourselves and others.We may have the answer/good information for someone else and they may have ours.let's cooperate and exchange ideas but being bitter will only hurt our efforts,who wants to be around a bitter .heartless person

Since this condition, I have more online friends and acquaintances than I have "real time" friends. No one can smell you in cyber space, so you're not judged in that capacity: Thank goodness. As for my personality changes?
My personality has changed and not for the better: I'm more distant, standoffish, bitter, angry, disillusioned, unmotivated, hopeless, introverted, and just utterly a shell of my former shelf.

I hate myself and I hate my life: That's just being completely honest. If I were man enough, I'd kill myself, but I can't bring myself to do something so drastic. So yes, I guess that makes me a coward. Maybe one day I'll just do it, but for now I'm still very much alive. Last night I found myself asking God to kill me: Seriously. I keep asking God, "What's the point of living like this?"

It's quite difficult staying positive. It's like I'm imprisoned within my own body. How frustrating is that? Everyday life is pretty much the same. How many times have you heard others say, "Stay positive? Keep the faith. Keep trying, don't give up. A cure is just around the corner." Every single day of my life is the same o'l tried refrain, and yet, there's nothing I can do to get rid of this horrid condition.

So let me get this straight: According to some religions, if I commit suicide, God will judge me and send me straight to hell, because I murdered myself? And yet, where was God when I was fighting this condition on my own for years? Where was God when I lost my medical career because of this condition? Everything that I knew and had is gone, and yet God would punish me for all eternity, because of something that is beyond my control...unbelievable.

I relate with you in every way. I'm definitely changed personality wise since the BO has started.