Re: Have you noticed a change in personality since this started?
My dad is also a bit of a stinker, but his odor is within the realm of what's socially acceptable. He's just a sweaty, farty dude, has horrible breath a few days out of the week when he doesn't eat right. but generally he doesn't smell too bad. He also works in a proffession that is very in demand right now, so he gets respect at work, his odors never been a huge problem for him, and he's always considered it normal. So yea, he used to give me a lot of shit because he thought I was exaggerating a normal human odor. And... he was convinced that I was experiencing moderate psychosis.
The whole thing really scarred our relationship, he stopped trusting me as a person, as his son, and just saw me as a walking medical condition.
I would come home bummed out, he would pressure me to tell him why, and I'd explain what happened, for example that one of my coworkers was particularly annoying that day, taking some time off his shift to come over and chat about dehydration and how it can cause people to smell like piss (haha, that coworker would pull shit like that every other day. He'd always start conversations with me about either urine, feces, or bad smells. "Wow have you gonna in the bathroom? it smells like complete shit in there! maybe the pipes are backed up, bla bla bla bla always the same types of awkward conversations that people normally don't start chatting about out of the blue. As far as coworkers went, he was the most bearable, others would do much worse. What got to me the most were a couple guys who completely avoided me, not even a passing hello, but instead crunched up their face and sniffled, followed by a sound that was like a disgusted "ehh" whenever I walked by. I'm talking clear signs of disgust toward me, I would say hello right in front of their face and nothing, completely ignored. and of course the thrown out comments "smells like shit," "ok, seriously, what is that smell?" My day was packed with stuff like that.
Sorry, trailed off there. So I'd tell my dad when stuff like that happened, and he would condescendingly say "don't worry, we're going to get you help. You're trapped in your own mind, we'll find you a good medication, something that can help your rational consciousness regain control" Wow....
Eventually he stopped caring all together. When I mentioned anything about my odor he would get up and leave the room/ walk away because "he wasn't going to play into or be the second victim of my psychosis" and I was "hurting the family with my negativity" . He wasn't there when I need him the most, wouldn't even speak to me, and when we did it was fighting, just yelling, a lot of anger from the both of us. Those days sucked, and although I love my father and we have a pretty good relationship now, a part of me can't forget.
When I confronted him about getting better.... "If it really was psychosis dad... how did I cure myself? Unless you think I've been paying for and sneaking trips to a psychiatrist or am something really darn special to the point where I can cure myself... it wasn't psychosis or any other psychiatric disorder, and you could've helped instead of giving me hell."
He's never given me a straight answer, just things like "that's in the past now" and has never apologized or expressed any deep emotion toward any of it.
I wonder if he really does believe I successfully self-treated psychosis with no prescription meds nor a lot of money :P because, haha, that's pretty ridiculous.