Re: you know what I realized

No offense taken here. In fact I found your post enlightening in the way you expressed your experiences. Your account and observations of having grown up in this world sound pretty similar to mine. The particular environment you mentioned "...raised that suffering is good and life is a test to see how much suffering you can bear, and how much you sacrifice yourself and help others.......promised a heavenly reward...." is pretty close to the same basic formula many of us were exposed to while growing up (it's a popular forumla:), with each of us perhaps getting a slightly different twist based on traditions of the family and locale raised in. Just stop for a moment to realize that, with a particular twist added, this same basic forumula can easily end up with "and then you go to heaven to enjoy the fruits of 27 virgins". Lotta slightly different spins out there, lotta "administrators" getting lotsa mileage out of having taught the same basic forumula of blind faith & blind obedience. It should come as no surprise that components of this long-used formula have basis in various versions old and new of "the bible" revised, and revised, and revised over the years and millenia. Many a time I've sat down with a rewnewed intention of trying to maintain an objective attitude while reading the bible, and each time have trouble getting past the first several OT chapters because of having come to the distinct realization that woman's role is depicted as subject, subservient, second-class servent & concubine. Some say that those ancient prophets were divinely guided to pen, verbatim, words spoken in person to them by Creator. It's not that I doubt this was the case way back then, it's just that I cannot escape coming to the conclusion that somewhere in between way back then and today, a whole bunch of somebody elses intervened, and what we end up with today are various second-hand, third-hand, etc versions of what Creator really said.