Re: Um....You are probably right

My thanks to Soul Survivor and Blue Rose for helping me work through this unexpected resurfacing of my ex-N husband.

I guess there is much I have forgotten and I'm a very forgiving person. Perhaps this is why I am confused. Besides being nurturing cause I'm naturally that way, I am also a nurse so maybe have a double dose of nurturing.

When I left this man, I still loved "him". I had hoped that by leaving he would come to his senses and start treating me well. That backfired and I am truly happy that it did. I eventually realized that there was no "him" that I loved, No such person existed. He moved on immediately to much younger women, a big long string of them. But I guess for a minute there I thought my wish came true.

Interestingly enough, when I first met him I didn't like him much and thought there was something "wrong" with him but couldn't put my finger on it. It was his family that really recruited me. I had lost both parents in my teens and needed family and they provided. They did "recruit" me. I came to realize that in time. In fact, I think he married me because they made him (just a guess) because they didn't want to take care of him anymore and felt I was competent.

Well, lately, after THEM not talking to me for 25 years also, my kids tell me that his family has suddenly started asking questions about me, about my welfare, saying they are concerned with my happiness etc. I thought that was odd. Then HE shows up.

I think it's possible that history is repeating itself. I tell you all this because maybe somebody else might come up against this someday. It's so weird being back in the Twighlight Zone. Trying to figure out what is going on. He needs a caretaker and his family has been trying to help him but they live out of state. His mom comes to stay with him for months at a time to help him but she is getting pretty old. So now I get it, they have apparently decided to try and get me back. I never would have foreseen this turn of events. Is there a great big "SUCKER" sign on my forehead or something?

And yes Soul Survivor, the brain damage is real. The accident was front page news in our local newspaper. My kids have been telling me about the memory problems for a couple of years now but the interesting thing is that his memory has improved greatly in the last year. But you are right, it's not my problem.

I was sort of thinking along the line of "for the sake of the kids" or something, only in the context of being friends with him and being able to share stuff about the kids. Who knows what I was thinking, I was immediately into a confused frame of mind. Talk about bad flashbacks.

This might have been the camel's nose under the tent sort of thing, huh?

With his disability, his horrible reputation in our small town, his age, all working against him, I imagine it's pretty hard for him to recruit the young girls anymore. My guess is that he thinks I'm the target of least resistance, and he does need someone to help him.

I did NOT get the impression from him that he liked me at all while he was trying to charm me. And I was looking for that.

Whew! Good thing this forum is here cause I think I just dodged a bullet!!! Back to my happy old self again. Breathe in, breathe out.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO



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