Re: Um....

Mama, I'm going to pose some questions that may, at first, seem harsh.   Please, sit, think, cogitate, and consider the answers with as much of a separation of emotion as you can before you answer them - either on the forum board, or to yourself.

1.  What do you really know about this head injury and brain damage?  Have you spoken to an attending physician, or are you going by what this man is telling you, himself.  And, please.....pay no attention to any "symptoms" of memory loss.  Consider the question as it is asked.

2.  Why would you "feel sorry" for this man?  He's a wealthy rancher and whether he was fleeced by his most recent wife, or not, isn't any of your affair. 

3.  Why would you allow someone who meant to inflict harm upon you back into your life simply because they claim an injury?

"Lovebombing" is a noted and highly effective weapon in the arsenal of a malignant narcissist or sociopath.  First, they shower their source targets with unnecessary flattery or assertions.  "You're the ONLY one that understands me."  "I'm the ONLY one that undrestands you."  "NOBODY ever loved you like I do."  And, so forth.  It's meant to place us very high on a pedestal that is made of Raisin Bran - one flick of the wrist, and the whole thing crumbles. 

Lovebombing comes a close second to the "Pity-ploy."  A spath or N will spin sad, sad tales about their lives, medical issues, financial woes, workplace problems, etc.....and, ALL of the sad, sad things are literally the fault of others.  Their parents (particularly mothers) were cold, abusive, or unavailable.  They have mountains of medical or physical ailments.  Someone has stolen everything that they own.  People at work "have it in" for them - their supervisors are jerks, etc. 

This man has come out of nowhere, after 25 years and very bitter divorce, and is knocking at your door?  If it were me, the person that I am today would ask, point-blank, "Why are you here, and what do you want?"  As soon as the lie spewed from the hole in the spath's face, I would simply show my back, enter into MY home, and shut the door, forever.

This man has an agenda, Mama.  You can count on it.  And, it doesn't matter what his agenda is.  What matters is your own well-being, safety, and security.  Allowing this man back into your life?  I'd strongly urge you to shut that door and never even crack it open for him, again, regardless of what his problems are.

My very best wishes to you