I've been through a similar experience with fear and anxiety. It's like whatever you do you CANNOT snap out if it! It would help if you try to accept the concept that you can't have control over your life and emotions. You just let them be - it doesn't mean that you are weak. From what you have written I got the idea that you are a little too obsessed with control. That is what you should try to focus on - getting rid of control step by step.
I've started practising chi gong and that helped a lot in that direction. My chi gong master helped me a lot with advice. He has a site http://chinet-project.com/
and a facebook page http://www.facebook.com/ChiNetProjectExperience