Re: after amalgam removal...slightly off-topic
***** Note: this does seem to veer some ways away from amalgams, doesn't it? LOL. hmmm, but maybe not. Nevertheless, others might benefit.
The most radical consideration might be this: in the end, it is simply energy. Energy fields that vibrate a certain way. There is no fault. Not 'in you', or 'of' you. (And therefore, none in another.) But if there IS fault in another--then there is in you, also. See the conundrum? That's what Ho'oponopono addresses.
Nothing is personal, yet things are enacted, and happen 'to us' and come 'from us' to whatever extent we 'hold' to the concepts of perceived experience and separate selves. And, for however long...
To put it simply, everybody changes places. From another viewpoint, it actually is all just play. < I know this sounds like fluffy nonsense. Yet, once we activate 'choice', we get the wheels of karma turning. Karma is just action.
I've had both the experiences you mention. It's been a big challenge, but has driven me to huge unfoldment, such that I can now genuinely appreciate all of it. As for the 'old-man' God, :-) (that version), that's part of the old world, we can let go of--along with concepts of blame, shame and guilt. Breathing meditation is good!
Chiron