You obviously have no actual experience with energy.
Stop blindly following gurus and find your own truth.
"We are neither our sexuality or our emotions"
Complete nonsense. More damage has been done to the spirit of mankind with this unintegrated, arrogant, perverse and dissociative pseudo spirituality than any other cult-like brainwashing.
Own your darkness, integrate your ego and emotions, then maybe you will have some actual light to speak about. REAL light, not airy fairy, "we are not our sexuality or our emotions" schizophrenic pseudo light coming from your 35th chakra.