Re: does god hate me

i love my mother very much
and she loves my brother very much
that in her eyes he can do nothing wrong
when he got deported from Canada she sent him down money
(still has)
she married my brothers father when i was ten

my brother got married in Jamaica and now has a step daughter
which i know he hurts her because i hear the conversations what my mother has over the phone, how shes scared of him

shes eight years old

my mom planned a surprise trip to go and stay in his house
for two weeks in April (the house what she renovating and building up for him)

my older sister had to tell my grandma what he did to me so we
both can get out of the trip
i can't see that little girl
if i do i might break

my mom already blames us for ruining the trip

she keeps telling me to forgive him and move on

as a child she was raped by her older cousin
she told me she knows how me and my sister feels but we must move on like she did

hes my brother who hurt all my female cousins and sisters

i love my mom shes the only one i have
my dad treats me and my older sister like strangers
i don't want to lose her

but the guilt from knowing what hes doing to that little girl makes me feel like dirt

maybe i am

i'm selfish i want my mothers love so i wont speak up
i am dirt Tweet