Re: It is amazing how God gives you what you really need

I hate to say that I am very naive when it comes to other Christians, because I never had any close born again Christians in my life growing up. And I was raised Catholic, and I probably was the only very devout Catholic in my family, other then my grandparents. My parents didn't go to church and didn't seek God, as I was. Funny thing was when I was young (around 18 year old) I was working toward becoming a nun, as I really wanted to dedicate my life to Jesus. Yet, I hesitated because I really wanted to get married and have a family of my own. God keep on gripping me and moving me, until I realized that He wanted more from me. And in a time of hardship, I got saved in my bathroom in July 1997. No one lead me to Christ, I was just moved to get on my knees and confess every sin, I had ever commited. At first I didn't know what happened, until a couple days later I realized I was different in some way. I ended up pulling out my Bible (one that my brother gave me as a gift when I was 16 - at the time I was apalled that I was given it, yet now I cherish it!) and started reading it. I stopped going to the Catholic church after God revealed something sicking to my soul. I then spend like 3 years, just reading my Bible and spending alone time with God, until I was urged to find a church. So, I didn't have anyone to help guide me into the "walk" and I wasn't influenced by alot of "Christian" things. I wasn't never taught to memorize scripture as many other Christians are, so at times I feel I am lacking so much as a Christian. Also it puzzles me alot of times why other Christian do what they do. I guess it is my naive sense that if you were a "true" follower of Christ, you would really try to follow Him in all that you do. I really try hard to do things that Jesus would do. I guess that is why I get hurt alot. I am cautious with people, yet I don't walk into a situation thinking a person with hurt me. It is a fault in me. My mother says it is because I don't have a mean bone in my body. I know it is because I really try to treat people, as Jesus would have treated them, so a times I get a lot of pain from the flack of it. I am not as thick skinned as I would like. I am far from desensitized from things in this world. It is also another one of my faults of mine.

My mother has told me that I can't "fix" people. It isn't that I want to fix them. I really want to honestly want to help them. Lift them up, and give them hope that things are not as bad as they seem. I guess that is why I get hurt. I have been figuring that maybe I should start volenteering somewhere to help with that.

Yes, I love the Joseph scriptures. I had forgotten that until I went to the service. Yes, in the last 3 years, I have found that I was blessed by any chruch service that I went too. It is as if, it was directed specially to me and I was very moved. I know that God was trying to get my attention, but I wasn't strong enough emotionally at the time to keep my attention on Him. Now I am!

I really need to read my Bible more. In the past, I couldn't imagine how wonderful and joyful it was reading it. It was as He was personally filling me with Joy, as I read. It is really hard to explain the feeling I have when I read the Bible. It is really amazing, when I do. It really does affect my inner Joy when I do. I still can't explain it in words. I don't understand why I ever stopped. I used to carry a small Bible with me in my purse so I had it with me where ever I went.

Yes, I love Pslam 56:8. I love it how Scripture talks to my heart and soul so deeply.

I am sorry if I have been really wordy as of late. I am very excited to be talking to other Christians again, and I tend to have a "running" mouth when it comes to talking about God and such. I really love doing so and I haven't been able or had the chance to in a very long time. This is very uplifting for me. So please forgive if I get wordy in my responsed. You can say that my heart just starts pour out in happiness of the situation.

:o)