I have been struggling with my faith over the last 3 years, so it has been touch and go, where I am really into God and following Him only to wander away again for some reason.

I still talk to Him every day, but I know that I haven't been applying myself as I should as a Christian, and I have been puzzled about that. I have asked myself over the last couple weeks "Where did my faith go?"

It is amazing how God answers and provide you the things you really need to have regarding that. I have to say, that I caught the last part of Adventures in Oddessy (which is one of my favorite radio shows on the Christian radio station I listen to). It was about a teenager that lost his faith and he was wanting to blame others for it. Whit (a main character on the show) told the teen that it was no one's fault but his, because of the actions he took. Whit listed off all the godly activities that the teen dropped and all the other ungodly things that he picked up instead. Whit went on to explain that one can't expect one's faith to survive a treatment like that.

I realized that over the last 3 years, I have struggled with my faith due to particular choices I made with my heart ( I dated a guy for a short while, which didn't work out and once again I got invovled with a guy which was an exboyfriend that caused a 1 1/2 of heartache) plus I stopped going to church and reading my bible. You can say in the heartache causing situation, caused me to shy way from church services and reading my bible. My boyfriend/exboyfriend said he was a Christian, but when it came down to it, he didn't seem like it. So it made it harder for me to keep up with little things that keep me grounded in Christ.

But I degress, I went to Wednesday service, the first church service I have attended in at least 8 months. It was small and inviting, so I thought it would help me get back into the faith groove. I even fought that, as the time was coming to go, I told my best friend I didn't want to go. She asked me why and I told her it was boring as it was usually led by some eldery person in the church and not the normal pastors, as well it isn't a contempoary service like I like. Well, I went any way, against how I was feeling about it. We sang the song "Standing on the promises of God" and the Associate pastor spoke about dreams and how they fill us up with so much hope. And as we get older, we lose our dreams and get dishearted about things going on in our lives. We read Genesis 37, which spoke about Joseph being a young dreamer and how he came against some very heavy heartships and heartaches in his life, yet overcame them because of his trust in the Lord.

I sat there and realized that God wanted me to have courage in the hardships that I am having. The Associate pastor went on to talk about how God had plans for Joseph regardless on what was happening in his life. He also asked us how me might find a parallel in our own lives to Joseph's situation. It gave me alot of hope reading Genesis 37-41 and realizing (once again after many months) that God has a wonderful plan for me, regardless that I can't see it. I might be down and out, but God is always rooting for me.

I feel that everyone that is stuggling with hardships should read about Joseph with his heartachs and hardships, so see the hope and wonderful plans that God had for you, as well as all of us.

I thought I would share what God shared with me. He knew that I really needed to hear those various things in my life, in order to get on the right track. It is amazing that I got what I needed, and I wasn't even looking for it. God is so very wonderful and loving! I wanted to share, because I know sometimes I can help someone struggling with the same issue, without even knowing it.

I have to admit something. I am also #78830. I didn't post my name, because I was fairly embarassed regarding the heartache I have been struggling with over a breakup. I had never posted on this forum before, so I was a little bit leery how open or accepting it might be. I have learned from experience that some Christians can do more damage to an individual, then someone that is non Christian. I am sorry that I wasn't more open and honest. This is a lovely forum, and I hope to frequent it more and more if that is possible.

:o)