Re: It is amazing how God gives you what you really need

Oh wow, That was a complement that I wasn't expecting. Thank you. I guess since I blog regularly now, I know that people read it, but I guess it doesn't sink in much since I hardly ever hear back from people. It is more out of sight, out of mind. LOL

I guess I really worry about my faith, because I have always had strong faith up until the last 3 years. You can say that I felt that my faith was undestructable, as I was so connected to Him. I made some wrong choices that really rocked my faith to the core. I guess it started when I started seeing a fellow Christian. His past wasn't the greatest, but he had a love to God that amazed me. He encouraged me and so many others in their walk. I guess it was a huge blow, when he walked away from God, because he didn't get what he wanted or his life wasn't going the way he wanted it to be. I had never came cross this before as a Christian. You can say that I had never had a relationship with another Christian, so it was very special and as I found it, it had a very devestating consquence. I just didn't understand how anyone could walk away from God, which started my own down hill question about my faith and why God would allow it.

You can say that I learned that I can't control other people's faith, nor can I know how deep their faith is, compared to mine. After that blow, I made another bad decision, that hasn't help, but I am sure, since I have shed that binding choice, I can move forward and heal my faith bit by bit.

I guess why it was so hard for me, as I have never doubted my faith or where I was going. The last 3 years, I have pondered a lot, but I can say that I have known He was there. It is more like he is just faded or just beyond my reach. I also know that it is that way because of my choices and what I am doing, not because He is doing it. It is just how I feel, because I know He never leaves our side. I guess I am just numb or zoned out to His presence, so it feels different.

I love pslams. I used to read them all the time when I was hurting in the past. I should really get back to reading them, since this is my healing time with God.

I LOVE Casting Crowns! I also love Tenth Avenue North. Both bands really speak volumes when it comes to my faith and God.

:o)