Re: I need to vent.

Do you experience daily wasting/catabolism of your healthy tissues, particularly collagen, whereby wrinkles appear everywhere, all over your body on a daily basis, even though you're still only pretty young? Do you notice skeletal muscles disappearing that it took many years of training efforts to make? How about the attachment of your gums to your teeth - do you notice the gums slipping down to reveal more of the tooth and then strangely within a matter of days, erosion of the tooth occurring? How is your eyesight - deteriorating? Do you notice indicators of your mortality progressing rapidly and presenting the inevitability of premature aging and death, knowing that nature has overcome you with its tide, while other beautiful creatures from butterflies to mongolian fox hunters thrive in harsh but natural environments?

Does anyone tell you it's all in your head and that you're imagining and perpetuating your condition, simply with thought, while simultaneously, your whole support network abandoning you as some over-fussy boy-who-cried-wolf malingerer with a poor tolerance for average stresses? Do you realise that maybe your whole notion of familiarity/care with other humans is brought into question as they subtly dismiss/abandon/attack you with their body language etc.?

Do you notice the world around you becoming overwhelmingly over-trendy and fast-paced, as you slowly shift down gears and lose touch even with the remnants of your own era? Are you out of touch, out of time and out of collagen?!

Do you feel the walls closing in on every conceivable positive outcome as the nightmare unfolds into its almost perfectly punishing elaboration?

Do you face the possibility that there'll be little of you left to even care about getting better?

Did you once know this realm to be favourable, lively and almost playfully novel, only to be replaced by something that undermines your wonderment about the justice of your own birth itself?

I juxtapose these questions alongside your vent as a means for you to triangulate where you might be in the AF scheme of things. Certainly not to trivialise, but if I had the settledness to be weighing my cat, I think I'd feel "home and dry".

With all of your familial relationships dissolving and no physicians/healers to help, along with the possibility that you'll have no finances soon and no partner to share a bed with, how would it feel? Also, with many people disbelieving your methods to get better through "potions" and to get on with your life, how does one feel?

Pretty naff world, right? A world that you demonstrated much care and politeness towards in the past, which now rejects you as a heretic? Will you wonder on your deathbed about the nature of human compassion and your epigenetic impression on the world?

Why fry in coconut oil when you can smoke all the cigarettes you like and drown everything in rancid vegetable oils? Why spare ecosystems when you can cut them down and profit from genetically modified monocrops to feed to animals raised in awful conditions ready to be served at fast food joints with addictive MSG-laden soggy cardboard?

Why harmonise with nature when you can rape it and replace it with something synthetic? Why care about anything ever, only to be criticised or pay some kind of heavy price for it?

If you can survive with your principles - great. If you can thrive, even better. If you can neither, then happily rot into obscurity while others forget your entire being. Tweet