I need help asap!

I need help, dont know where to start with my situation. I met my "husband" 7 years ago. fell in love in a matter of weeks, dated for about a month...then he broke up with me.. 4 years later we met up again, i became truly obssessed, i had never stopted loving him. we gon engaged he was 21 i was 19. We were sup to be married in june of 08 since in december i found out i was pregnant we eloped to vegas and married there. life was amazing til a couple of months after the wedding. He started acting weird, he stopted working.. he wouldnt do anything for me but asked for money. I started doubting him , he started watching p 0 r n at all times, and using drugs.. no hard core drugs ...i thought for a while. we moved in with his mom due to me having to stop working for my very unheakthy pregnancy.. things got even worse. he would never go to bed with me and his friends were always first. when we finally moved out on our own i was 8 months pregnant, i was watching tv.. he was as sleep he received a text msg... from a girl saying hey baby... i woke him up screaming he went crazy and hit me a couple of times pushed me on the floor and much more. i forgave him and trusted that it ended there. my daughter was born and everyday he would become more abusive , and extremely weird lying about being at work money would dissapear...just all lies. the day before my daughter turned 1 month old he was put in rehab by his mother. He is a cocaine addict. during rehab i went to counseling everyday with him, i helped him thru it all and took care of my daugter everyday by myself. a month later he was out. things were good for about a month... then i found out he cheating on me while in rehab.. with a drug addict as well. we moved into a better neighborhood... started new... so i thought til i found out he had been seeing the girl from rehab again... i was disrespected by this girl thru text msgs.. "no wonder he sleeps with me ur just a dumb bitch". I forgave him again.I got back to work.. things were getting better. then the p 0 r n addiction started again. He started abusing me again. we separated for about a month. until i finally came back home. things were great, we were happy in love and just workng on our relationship again.i fouund out we were pregnant...never been happier... Once again money started dissapearing. so i started checking bank accounts and voicemails. So finally... on a day he was sup to be at work he received a voicemail from a girl... hey baby so and so... just come over my phone doesnt work.... this time he wasnt so sorry... he sup was gona change and get help. i left in december... its now march... he came back to me a couple of times telling me he was gonna get help... cryin saying he loved me that he didnt wanna hurt me anymore. yesterday i found out he got her pregnant. she had an abortion. ( during this entire time i been goin thru counseling thinkin it was mostly my fault that i had pushed him away so much that he ended up doing this..) today i get a phonecall from him...and her in the back, he treaten to kill me, she sup wants to beat me up... almost like highschool days again. couple of hours later i received an email from her. saying they been together for 7 months they love each other , that we been divorced and i need to change my last name..and that i am a bad mother for not lettin him see my daughter.( i have tried day and night for him to be there for her... he hasnt seen her in months and has never gave me a penny for her.) and saying a bunch of bs pretty much but just very hurtful. so i called him went off on him... he went off on me... how this is my fault. this is where i need help. I cant live another day like this, im extremely suicidal, i am hurt i feel like he keeps stabbing me in the heart over and over... i told him i want a divorce... but i still wish he would check himself in rehab that he would be seen at a mental health institute and that he would come back to me... (why do i feel this way?) theres so many more things he has done to me... and i still love this guy. where do i start? what do i do? I have a 19 month old and im 5 months pregnant. i dont wanna do this on my own. i need serious help. can someone please tell me where to start... Tweet