I need help asap! 
romy08
14 y
4,715
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I need help, dont know where to start with my situation. I met my "husband" 7 years ago. fell in love in a matter of weeks, dated for about a month...then he broke up with me.. 4 years later we met up again, i became truly obssessed, i had never stopted loving him. we gon engaged he was 21 i was 19. We were sup to be married in june of 08 since in december i found out i was pregnant we eloped to vegas and married there. life was amazing til a couple of months after the wedding. He started acting weird, he stopted working.. he wouldnt do anything for me but asked for money. I started doubting him , he started watching porn at all times, and using drugs.. no hard core drugs ...i thought for a while. we moved in with his mom due to me having to stop working for my very unheakthy pregnancy.. things got even worse. he would never go to bed with me and his friends were always first. when we finally moved out on our own i was 8 months pregnant, i was watching tv.. he was as sleep he received a text msg... from a girl saying hey baby... i woke him up screaming he went crazy and hit me a couple of times pushed me on the floor and much more. i forgave him and trusted that it ended there. my daughter was born and everyday he would become more abusive , and extremely weird lying about being at work money would dissapear...just all lies. the day before my daughter turned 1 month old he was put in rehab by his mother. He is a cocaine addict. during rehab i went to counseling everyday with him, i helped him thru it all and took care of my daugter everyday by myself. a month later he was out. things were good for about a month... then i found out he cheating on me while in rehab.. with a drug addict as well. we moved into a better neighborhood... started new... so i thought til i found out he had been seeing the girl from rehab again... i was disrespected by this girl thru text msgs.. "no wonder he sleeps with me ur just a dumb bitch". I forgave him again.I got back to work.. things were getting better. then the porn addiction started again. He started abusing me again. we separated for about a month. until i finally came back home. things were great, we were happy in love and just workng on our relationship again.i fouund out we were pregnant...never been happier... Once again money started dissapearing. so i started checking bank accounts and voicemails. So finally... on a day he was sup to be at work he received a voicemail from a girl... hey baby so and so... just come over my phone doesnt work.... this time he wasnt so sorry... he sup was gona change and get help. i left in december... its now march... he came back to me a couple of times telling me he was gonna get help... cryin saying he loved me that he didnt wanna hurt me anymore. yesterday i found out he got her pregnant. she had an abortion. ( during this entire time i been goin thru counseling thinkin it was mostly my fault that i had pushed him away so much that he ended up doing this..) today i get a phonecall from him...and her in the back, he treaten to kill me, she sup wants to beat me up... almost like highschool days again. couple of hours later i received an email from her. saying they been together for 7 months they love each other , that we been divorced and i need to change my last name..and that i am a bad mother for not lettin him see my daughter.( i have tried day and night for him to be there for her... he hasnt seen her in months and has never gave me a penny for her.) and saying a bunch of bs pretty much but just very hurtful. so i called him went off on him... he went off on me... how this is my fault. this is where i need help. I cant live another day like this, im extremely suicidal, i am hurt i feel like he keeps stabbing me in the heart over and over... i told him i want a divorce... but i still wish he would check himself in rehab that he would be seen at a mental health institute and that he would come back to me... (why do i feel this way?) theres so many more things he has done to me... and i still love this guy. where do i start? what do i do? I have a 19 month old and im 5 months pregnant. i dont wanna do this on my own. i need serious help. can someone please tell me where to start...- Re: I need help asap! BlueRose
14 y
4,877
R
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,595,648You start here:
http://www.codependents.org
You find out if there are meetings where you live and you start going.
It makes me extremely sad that you decided to bring children into the world while being involved with him. I weep for your child and unborn baby. You need to know this --- those kids come first. You do what you have to do to protect them and insure they have the best life possible. How do you do that? For starters, you file for divorce and make sure you have full custody of both kids. You also make sure that he has supervised visits with them. So...first thing tomorrow, you find a lawyer and get started.
You ask why you stay with him. I'm guessing it all boils down to poor self-esteem and low self-confidence. The first time he hit you---and he hit you when you were pregnant!---do you realize he could have harmed your baby???? You should have called the police and had him arrested. Then you should have gotten a restraining order out on him. But hindsight is 20/20 vision. It's not too late to get away from him.
Continue with your counseling. Whenever you are tempted to go back to him, and I'm going to shout this to you ---THINK ABOUT YOUR KIDS---THEIR WELL BEING IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE!
If you haven't already, get some reliable birth control and start using it after you give birth. You don't need to bring anymore children into this world --- at least not now!
Good luck and get going!- Re: I need help asap! isisdylan77
10 y
2,056
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This is a reply to # 1,595,672I couldn't have said it better! Bravo for an honest post. And the codependent CODA are free. So is alanon which is an excellent treatment. That's so true YOU MUST PUT YOUR CHILDREN FIRST,and the best way to do that is getting help for you. The healthier you become you will get out fir good. Never loose hope
- Re: I need help asap! isisdylan77
10 y
2,056
- Re: I need help asap! #110372
14 y
4,107
This is a reply to # 1,595,648Open the Bible and start reading the NEW TESTAMENT. You will find God's unconditional LOVE for you and supernatural help from HIM. I went through this 20 years ago. Abuse is always the same, it never changes. Actions are the same, words are the same, patterns are the same. They CAN'T change. You must understand this and reach out to the only One who can really help you. God has a purpose for your life. Abuse has no place in it. His purpose is first and foremost for you to know the depth of His love for you. Just get to know Him. Something supernatural happens when we read His Word. It becomes alive to us. His Spirit speaks to us through it. If you have never given your heart to him its simple. You just talk to him and accept His UNCONDITIONAL love for you. Your relationship with Him, His love for you and His blessings toward you will never be dependent upon your actions. Its always UNCONDITIONAL. Never forget that. He will NEVER leave you or forsake you. This is a promise and God can never break His Word. He will take care of you and your children.
- Re: I need help asap! moveme
14 y
3,943
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,595,648Sweetheart I feel for you. I have been there myself but I only had 1 child. I agree fully with the advice given above. You need counseling and self respect. Also the Psalms in the Bible are very helpful. God Bless You and keep you!
- Re: I need help asap! #68716
14 y
4,288
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
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Hulda Clark Cleanses
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This is a reply to # 1,595,648As a survivor, I would urge you to get into contact with your family members. Tell them everything, even if the truth doesn't make you look like Mother Teresa. Take ownership of your choices and decisions, and reach out. That would be your choices and decisions, NOT his. You cannot fix what's wrong with him. You cannot wish him into better mental health or productivity. The only thing that you have any control over is your own choices, actions, and decisions. And, your child(ren) require you to take proactive steps to protect them and yourself.
Abusive relationships never, ever, EVER get better. You have many options available to you through Social Services and outreach programs. You have a choice. Your children do not. Seek an order of protection or restraining order, ASAP. Contact your local "Legal Aid" office for representation to prevent this jackass from causing any more harm to your and your child(ren). Take advantage of every resource available to you, take your life (and those of your children) into your hands, and make the necessary changes for yourself so that you won't feel compelled to "need" a man and choose one that's a louse. You deserve better, and your child(ren) certainly don't deserve to live in such a negative environment. Social Services can put you into contact with excellent counseling services that are FREE of charge to you. You just have to take the steps to save yourself and your children. Nobody else can take those steps for you, my dear.
Good luck to you and take the necessary steps to help yourself and your children.
- Re: I need help asap! Eva Maria
14 y
4,123
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenr...
This is a reply to # 1,595,648I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. You have endured so much,hoping your husband would change. You said you went to counseling, thinking this is all your fault. I am so glad you have now realized it is NOT your fault, it never was. This was NOT about you, it was all about him. I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I have felt the same pain. It helps to know we are not alone and that you made the right decision when you left him. It also helps to read about the experiences of others, how they handled a difficult situation like this, what kinds of solutions they tried, which ones worked and which ones did not work. This is a page where people who have been going through the same pain can send their stories, it might help you to deal with the loss better if you take a look at some of their experiences:
http://www.cheating-infidelity.com/Home/personal-stories-narcissistic-spouse....
The most important thing is to know that you are not alone. So many people have experienced what you are now experiencing and they have survived. You will too!
- Re: I need help asap! BlueRose
14 y
4,877
R
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