I don't know much about your back story, but logic would say that there is some history of trauma (absolutely nothing to be ashamed about if there is!). I could also be WAY off.
If it does exist, are you trying to parse that along with the physical health hurdles? I do know that they ignite each other and pretty soon, it's like two wildfires that meet in the middle, and you're overwhelmed. I would be happy to offer any support or humor I could if you want to PM me.