Edited

I have severe abnormal fat deposits/body fat (this isn't mody image problem, but real and verifiable excessive body fat) especially on my stomach/waist. I am extremely underweight (<80 pounds and 5-4") but if my weight goes upto even 80+ I look completely bloated to the point where people comment on it. No one can guess my real weight because I look more like 90's or so (always look 20 pounds HEAVIER than I am.) I got to this weight by bulimic means (not starvation) -- laxatives for the most part, but also purging. My body is a total MESS because it's like a totally obese body that's been "shrunk"/deflated like a balloon. No one can see it in clothes, but undressed, it's a total freakshow.. I'm scared to go to treatment/gain weight because it will make me FAT. I don't think I'm fat NOW, and DO want health and am sick of my body that's like a mix of fat/BONES (like a skeleton with globs of fat but still bones sticking out and stick like legs) but can't become fat.. can bulimia make you "fat-skinny" so that your SHAPE is really skinny but you're actually abnormally fat (body fat composition) and it will show up if any weight is gained?? Does ANYone have ANY epxerience with this???