Re: Still a virgin, never had a boyfriend

Oh my! You know something? I, too, was a 21-year old virgin and this was during the early 70s when the whole "free love" thing was still going strong. I got pressured by guys many times. Also, so many times I would get asked out on a date only to find that at the end of the date, the guy would ask me for sex. When I would say "no"---well, what I got from the guy was "see you around." I was a bit overweight in those days so I think, in my case, these arrogant guys assumed that I would be glad for the attention and would give in to them.

Looking back on all this, I have no regrets. While I did go far on a few occasions when making out, I didn't go all the way until I was with my future husband.

Please don't feel pressured to lose your virginity just because your friends have long since lost theirs. Also, don't think something is wrong with you because you aren't interested in a one-night stand. If anything, you are very wise not to be pressured by either your friends or any guy who asks you out. Trust me, if you lost your virginity because you gave into pressures to do so, you will regret your choice for the rest of your life.

Wait until you find the right man. The right man won't pressure you to go all the way on the first date. If he asks and you say "no", he won't be scared away. If he cares about you as a person and wants to get to know you, he will have no problem with your wanting to take things slowly. When you are ready, you will know it and it will feel right to you. When everything falls into place, you will never regret your decision.

Also---I just wanted to add---I read with interest your account of how your were bullied at school and can relate. I grew up in an era when parents believed it was up to the child to resolve this---which was a very wrong approach to have taken. Did you ever discuss what happened to you with your parents? Did they ever try to intervene on your behalf? I point all this out because, as a child, you did need someone to intervene. So, I hope you don't blame yourself for what happened to you. Tweet