Been there - Sorry to say it but you're a muddle-headed mess. And in my experience those supposedly "good people" who deal in words instead of actions are people that are keenly interested in appearing good, with not a care for actually being good.
I sense you're religiousness is just an alternative way to deal with a world you feel you're otherwise ineffective in. And that's because you've chosen a long time ago to live in some kind of artificial feel good bubble rather than as a conscious inquisitive living person. Bubble girl - throw away those crutches and walk!!!