Ex-Boyfriend is Nuts

About 3 years ago, I got involved with a man who I thought was a good, sweet guy - nice-looking, mild-mannered, etc. He seemed damaged, though, by a long, awful marriage to a woman who treated him very badly. It seemed like he and I had fallen in love, although things weren't perfect and I always had an uneasy feeling in my gut about him (listen to those feelings, right?!; he seemed secretive, reluctant to really commit, etc.. The relationship lasted nearly 2 years and then I discovered he was on all sorts of internet dating services! And, on top of that, he has a foot fetish and was looking for women's feet to rub and kiss! Do ya laugh or cry? Well, I did both and confronted him. He lied at first and then finally admitted the truth. It was such a kick in the gut to discover someone I loved was really loony and a liar as well. I dumped his sorry, lying ass quickly.

Now, over a year later ... he has called and e-mailed occasionally, usually about once every month or so. Wants to be friends. Wants to help me with this, that or the other. I tried to be friendly or at least civil. But finally decided I want nothing to do with him. Who wants to be reminded of such a painful experience, such a betrayal? So during the last 3 weeks he has called and e-mailed me several times. I didn't reply. I've spotted him at a few restaurants and bars in my neighborhood, places I'm likely to frequent (he lives on the other side of town). He even approached my ex-husband to say hi at one of these places. I continued to ignore. So last Saturday night, my daughter and I go to our favorite neighborhood restaurant, and in he walks ... with a date. I nearly saw red! My first and very uncharitable thought was ... HAH ... she's not even pretty! But then I felt such pity for her; poor gal probably has NO idea what a crazy %¤#&!§-she's with. He, of course, kept staring at me with this hang-dog, sad-sacky look. I got the check, and my kid and I left quickly.

But when I got home, I was so angry! It's like he's trying to re-open the wound, pick the scab, try to get to me again. I just don't understand this kind of sickness! So, I finally answered his stupid e-mail and said if he's going to be hanging out in my neck of the woods, and we run into each other I will NOT speak to him or acknowledge him in any way. I reminded him of the awful thing he did to me and said his attempts to see and contact me only bring back BAD memories!

I'm trying to read more and find out more about the laws of attraction. Trying to make myself trust men again so that I might someday find a good one. But I feel uneasy about all of this. What on earth am I attracting to myself and why? How could I have ever loved someone so weird and pathetic? Thanks for reading ... if you have any insights to offer, I'd sure appreciate it.