I don't have this book you mention. Maybe it's not the right time to be focusing on the Louise Hay, if it only brings up resistance. I was going to mention it sounded as the "The Work" might resonate for you, since it seems there are lots of gifts in your being here, just as you are.
PS the subject line of your original post got me thinking of this: I've sometimes been admonished by a beloved guide, "don't understand." What is meant by that is don't stand 'under', where the weight of figuring it out bears down on you, and you keep working to hold it up. You see, in that is a struggle that keeps you apart from joy.
well, it always made me stop and laugh at myself.(fondly)