Re: Lightstream Wow! But a few things!

I agree with much of the advice that Lightstream is giving.

One thing that I would add is to make sure you are communicating your requests to him in a positive way rather than a negative or nagging way.

For example, you could say, "I miss the way we used to make love looking into each others eyes. I feel so connected to you when we do that and it makes me want to give myself completely to you. It would make me so happy if we could try that next time."

This communicates to him in a positive way how he can please you and believe it or not pleasing you is what makes him feel like a man.

But you could also make the same request in a negative way, "When we're having sex, you not wanting to do it face to face makes me feel like a whore and is totally selfish on your part!"

This feels like criticism and that what he has to deal with all day long probably in his job. This makes him feel like a child and he will further disconnect with you, argue, fight, shift blame, and spend his time doing other things.

Obviously these are example phrases and you need to come up with your own words and more importantly you have to communicate them to him in truly a positive spirit. The words don't work if the intentions behind it are still negative.

I agree with Lightstream, if you love him, work on yourself. Obviously set boundaries if you feel that your health or emotional well being are in danger but try to demonstrate love by compromising on the things that you can compromise on.

The only thing that you can do to encourage other people to change is to set a good example and pray that God will change their heart.

Hope this helps.

Love and God Bless,

Evan