Sorry to say it but this guys a LOOSER, plain and simple.

If he cannot make love to you face to face...
you need to face facts...he is not making
making love to you...

If this were my situation, I would not put
up with being treated like a whore...you
deserve better don't you think??

He does not deserve you~!

best wishes,
Zoe

-_-

The comment about him being a loser is weak. Name-calling is just an indicator of the level of the name-caller.

"he wants to have sex at night and turn around and want to first thing in the morning which will make me late for work.. I can't and we fight.."
Why cant you? Wake up earlier, go to bed earlier w/ him, give & take, discuss options, take a nap in the middle of the day...
Calmly discuss, not fight, if emotions get heated, & anger & resentment appear in anyone's voice or words, take a walk & come back later, but do not fight, work it out. Please, be courteous.


"he only wants to do it from the back and the side, never face to face action.."
Why? What's his reason for this? Eye-contact & kissing make sex awesome! Does he dislike your face, breath, weight? Be direct. Is it a tightness issue? If so, get a kegel-master. Maybe it's a control issue. Maybe he likes to feel like has has control & power at times. Are you OK w/ playing the submissive role? Is he willing to trade every now & then? Discuss, discuss, discuss...


"also the name calling.. he call me a B especially at the end if you know what I mean. He'll say like " sexy B" or "take it B" I told him that that bothers me.."
If it bothers you, & you told him, he should respect you & quit. Does he completely show no regard for what you find offensive? Have you made it clear to him just how offensive it is to you?


"If makes me feel like a slut in the porn.. He says that that is how he likes it and he doesn't see it the way I see it so we are just sexually incompatable and that's it."
I think there's more to it than that. Perhaps a good marriage counselor, or some good books can help, & definitely more intimate communication. Let him know how feeling like a porn slut makes you affects you deep down, in a way he can relate to. He may have known women who like feeling like a porn-slut & pleasing him with that image. Find out where he's coming from. Explain & show him what you want, & what kind of loving & intimate sex you want & show him what it's like, & if he's not capable of giving/receiving it, that might not be easy, but you may be able to give him what he wants, as his wife, at least. I see nothing wrong with being humble, & giving with love, even if one is not getting much in return, in a marriage, for the male or the female.


"I don't know what to do anymore.. I think divorce is inevitable. He is trying to get me to change and sends me e-mail telling me that he is going to give me a chance to do better.."
Yes, change, may be a good idea. You cannot change him. Change yourself. Give & love, & communicate. If he's abusive, & you get to the point where you feel like he is a threat to your health & your nerves, it maybe be a good option to protect yourself, but if the commitment was made, & you're his wife, & you love him, & especially if there are kids involved, & he's not abusive, please consider working on yourself more before trying to change him, & show him what real love is through your actions.


"I'm like whatever its not only my fault.."
google "ho'oponopono" & read about it. It may actually be more to your benefit to accept responsability for it, even if it's not appearantly your fault. It's a very radical & interesting concept.


"Our problems are both our fault.. He will not go to councling because everything is my fault especially sexually.."
Now this is a biggie. Is that the only reason, or is there more between the dots? Counceling is pricey too. Maybe there's more to it than what he says. But really, pleasing one's spouse in the morning & night is not such a bad thing, but denying the spouse, & allowing him to feel sexually rejected is extremely hurtful. Has he told you how hurtful it is to be rejected, or how painful it is for him to go without his wife in the mornings? Maybe he would discuss such things if asked, & it would be a good way to open the door to more communcation about your concerns as well.


"Seriously.. If I had the energy"
Maybe you guys can compromise & he can help you more around the house or work more & help you have more energy. Discuss, discuss, compromise, work it out.


"and he didn't treat sex like I'm just some ransom slut off the street and he was more romantic with it like I'm his wife, then it would be on.. I feel like a single mom.."

So you do have a kid. Please try your best before leaving him if he's not abusive. He may be a bit selfish, & maybe inconsiderate of your feelings, however, you may be just as selfish, & maybe you two are good for each other, so that your bumping heads can smooth out the rough edges over time. There are great books on sexuality. Mantak Chia would be good for him to read, so he can get more pleasure out of sex & be a better lover. Maybe if he experienced male multiple orgasms, he would not want it so much. Why not buy him some good books on sex, since he seems so interested in it. Or an online course. There is also fascinating research about how couples who have sex, & stop short of ejaculatory orgasm end up healing their relationships considerably, because the release of ejaculate releases certain hormones in men that make them more emotionally distant, & the release of certain hormones in women during orgasm make women more irratable & selfish as well. This research & testimonials are well worth looking in to. There's a whole system or sex devoted to this. I forget the name at the moment, but it may be able to make a big difference. In fact, one of the things I read from these studies is that if a man makes love for an hour, its easier to not have to orgasm & he wont desire sex again for another week. & if he makes love for 2 hours, he wont desire sex again for another 2 weeks, the whole while, he will have certain hormones that make him want to cuddle & please his wife's heart. I suspect, strongly there may be something to it. Research, research, research. :) It cannot hurt.


"He goes out with his boys every friday and every M,W,F he goes to work out.. I don't do any of this... who's getting the short end of the stick here...not me!"
It's not his responsability to make sure yours social needs are met. You can leave the kids with him & go out w/ friends. He surely cannot legally abandon his kids. There must be more options.


Anyway..I don't know what to do.. Should I stay and try or should I go?
This may be a moral question as well. There's a lot involved here, but please consider the well-being of a child & consider all the options available, & try to communicate w/ lots of love, & little resentment & anger, & also please consider just pleasing him & letting him know how it makes you feel in a loving way, & not letting him abuse you, & stand up for yourself, but also be considerate & caring & kind.