Re: Power of NOW

Okay - I'm back - I thikn I got it :-)

"It doesn't matter if you focus on a past event that makes you happy, a present event that makes you happy or a potential (imaginary) event that makes you happy. Happiness is what you are looking to achieve. The method of getting there is your choice.

Whatever you are focusing on NOW, whether it is in the past or imaginary IS your point of attraction. That's why many say "Your power is in the NOW" .. And it is :-)"

That's good to know and makes sense - I don't know wht I couldn't figure this out. Whatever I visualize on IS my point of attraction. It's the WHAT not the when it took place :-)

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"For example, if a man has been the persuer for a while and he gets fed up with doing that because of some negative experiences, he may launch a desire to be persued. He may want it very much for women to start taking a more active role in persuing him!"
"There is no right and wrong with this. It is the contrast (what we don't like versus what we do like) that we are living that creates new desires and new ways of being."

I always took on a more passive role because I thought thats what I was supposed to do, to stay a challenge, since men need a challenge. I thought if I took on an active role, a man would not think of having a serious relationship with me. More like, "she wants me, she is coming after me and Im gonna have fun with her". I thought that a man would sleep with the one who comes too easy and value the one he has to work to keep interested.

With my hubby, he definitely persued me when we met. At the time I was still seeing someone else and he patiently waited until I was free. I was dating that guy who worked at a dance club we both used to go to each weekend for a long time. Hubby was respectful, just kept checking ;-) Later on, he would tell me though, when we had problems, that I never called him or asked him to get together adn always left it all to him. This was basically true - I DID call him or ask him to do this or that at times, but with an attitude like I would say "let's go out" but THINK and FEEL "we never do anything anymore, you rather be with your buddies than me". Or, I would not have an attitude and really wanted to work things out but had the same old movie playing in my head, which focused on what was lacking. So, I created what happened!

So, I see that I can be active in a very constructive way, focusing on what I want and be happy and feel good no matter what happens right away :-)

I know my hubby LOVES it when take initiative - he has asked for it plenty of times, and I thought if I did I would turn into a doormat! See, this is what the books tell you. Funny, he has told me all along what he wanted, and I didn't get it that maybe he was on to something.

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"does one have to worry about EMASCULATING a man"

"You get what you focus on. If you focus on seeming like a man, you will feel it. If you focus on asking him out because it's enjoyable to do so, then it will be.

If you had a casual male friend, this would not be a problem would it?"

Thank you, this makes total sense :-) I definitely don't feel like a man asking my male friend to do whatever it may be. I don't feel a difference if it is a woman or a man I'm asking. Again, I was too hung up on relationship expert's books on dating :-)

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"So, congratulating others for their achivements, focusing only on behaviour you like, telling them how they make you feel good just by them being themselves is wonderful.

Don't you love it when others say who you are and what you are makes them feel good? :-)

Of course, you feeling good is up to you, but others helping you do that is immensely helpful too."

YES, it does feel great to be complimented and acknowledged. It's like a bonus to feeling good already. It makes you wanna do more of what you know the other person loves that you did. :-)

I also think that it may be a good way to get a person feel happier with themselves also, you know, the ones who don't know about LOA yet and who don't necessarily feel happy anyways. Do you agree?