Calm down!

You poor dear. Yes, you need to calm down. I wonder if you were anxious with your boyfriend?

Time to step back and assess, assess, assess.....

Call your boyfriend and tell him you love him. Tell him you are going through something right now, but you hope to be back to your old loving self soon. I assume the guy was alright? No major issues? If he was a good boyfriend (meaning your anxiety was not surrounded by something he was doing) then it is time to think about your relationship. Put yourself in your boyfriends shoes. Time to look in the mirror. What was he experiencing with you?

So, if everything is a go with him, when you call and tell him you love him, also tell him why. Say all the good things you can think of, but make it sincere. Say that he adds value to your life. Tell him that he adds value to the world at large. Make sure he knows that he is cared for and loved.

Now, it's time for you to work on your health and mental state. Go forward. Expect that you will make progress. Half of the healing done here is mental. The mind body connection cannot be dispelled. Basically, its time to put things in order....get your shit together.

After you have called him, that is called building the firm foundation. That is what you need, a VERY firm foundation. It will help to dispel all your paranoia. Number one is to get rid of the paranoia.

Now I'm going to say something really hard to hear. Sometimes paranoia has a place. Often people are more sensitive and intuitive than they know. It could be that your boyfriend is not open to what you say. You have to be ready to deal with that. And you have to be ready to respond to that. There is no reason that if the conversation goes sideways that you can still say what is in your heart. BE SINCERE. Don't overtalk, let him talk. Really listen to what he has to say. Be ready to apologize, or give concessions if need be. But stay steady, do not lose your integrity. Just because you want the guy, it doesn't mean that you have to give up all your rights. But there is a way to deliver this that is mature and calm. Take a deep breath and call him.

My advice to my girlfriends when things are predatory and scary is to give yourself a break. Go see a really funny movie. Go walk in some great nature. Call some girlfriends and stop thinking about the BF for awhile. Read a really good book. Cook yourself a great dinner and enjoy every bite. Know that you can enjoy your own company. Dance around the house to Motown. Be productive. Organize. Stay busy. Step outside the box.

Good luck. Call the man, and say what you have to say. Then use the time wisely. You will be OK, no matter how this turns out. Hang in there.

Molly