Re: I am having some serious issues with my sex life please help!!!!

Zoebess offered some excellent observations - as a much older woman, it is my feeling that your partner is not demonstrating an ounce of empathy, understanding, encouragement, or interest in pleasuring YOU! When sex becomes a bone (no pun intended) of contention, it can really cause a rift between partners. And, I thoroughly agree with Zoe's opinion that STD's preclude abstinance, these days.

The suggestion of self-pleasuring to begin gaining control of your ejaculations sounds quite reasonable. It also may be possible that so much emphasis is being placed upon YOUR performance that you're stressing out over it and the psychological impact is affecting the physical responses, etc. Please...don't allow ANYone to ridicule your performance or sexual experience! Learning how to enjoy sex and bring enjoyment to your partner takes time, patience, understanding, and lots of humor - something that your current partner seems to be ignoring. There are so many books written on the art of sexual interaction that you can pick and choose, as you wish. However, I would strongly caution against using p 0 r n o g r a p h y as examples of healthy sexual activity - the acts that are being performed are directed and paid for and do not, ususally, represent healthy, loving, tender behavior between a couple.

I'll gently encourage you to consider what it really is that you "love" about your parnter. Is she supportive? Is she kind to you (and, others) in her language and actions? Is she encouraging? Is she patient with you? Is she empathetic to you (and, others)? Are you "in love" with definitive POSITIVE attributes, or are you in love with attributes that you're hoping will develop as you become more committed?

There can be a great deal of emphasis placed upon sex, so much so that the emotional and spiritual benefits of a healthy sexual relationship can be overshadowed and ruined by demands and ridicule. Please, use caution as you navigate through this.

Best wishes to you.
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