Re: Relationship mistrust

The issues of trust between this couple are just a symptom of more serious personal issues that each one has. Each of their personal issues has been exacerbated by partnering with one another, but neither of them are responsible for the core issues that are underlying each of their separate lives.

Since she ensnared this current partner by cheating with him when she was involved in another relationship, he has every right to believe that she'll cheat on him, as well. If she could so easily do it with him to someone else, why wouldn't she be capable of doing with someone else to him? Moreover, this guy seemed to feel that there was nothing wrong with engaging in an affair when HE was the object of her desire, but, suddenly, he's expecting her to have changed?! LOLOLOLOL

Be that as it may, he sounds as if he does have control issues - perhaps, this is why he chose to remain with this woman who is obviously incapable or unwilling to maintain a monogamous relationship: it will prove to him (again) that women cannot be trusted and, therefore, must be held accountable for every minute of their day. And, though he may have control issues, they do not excuse her choices by any stretch of the imagination.

I feel that your insight with regard to this couple is right on time. They really have no business being with ANYbody, much less one another, until they each work out their own personal issues. And, I might gently point out that, if it were me and people were asking me to discuss their issues (and, it has been), I would urge them both to seek INDIVIDUAL counseling to address their personal issues and back way, way off. You see, when friends are approached for advice, whether the advice that they've sought is sound or not, the affected parties will lay blame on the one who offered advice LONG before they accept accountability for their own actions and choices. Neither of these people are exercising wise choices or healthy behaviors and, unfortunately, you'll be dragged down with them if you don't take steps to protect your Self.

Best wishes to you.