What would you do?

It is a long story - I was born in Africa and moved to Canada for a man at the age of 24.

My problem is - When I was 19 I dated a guy in Africa who was amazing in every sense of the word. I loved him very deeply, however I was a very head strong young lady and had goals of going overseas, which this fellow did not share. So I eventully toured Europe and met another man who was from Canada. This other man and I continued a longdistance relationship for a year. He came to Africa and we toured the country together. Everything seemed wonderful. He took me back to Canada where I have now lived for 25 years.

I feel like I have been trapped in this loveless relationship for 25 years. Sometimes we have gone for 3 year stretches without having sex. (I know he is not cheating on me, he just has a very low sex drive).

I have on the other hand dreamed and fantasied about this first love for 25 years.

Well the most amazing thing has happend in that this ex boyfriend and I have now made contact by phone for the first time in 25 years and he has felt the exact same way as I have felt. He is on his second marriage and also not terribly happy. He now has one child who is 13. I have 3 children who are 22, 17, and 10.

I don't know what to think. Neither him nor I would be in huge favour of exiting our marriages because of the children. I feel sadend that we missed out on a life together, the fact that we have both carried this torch for 25 years makes me think that we must be soulmates.

Any thoughts? Tweet