Our stories are very similar. I lived a lifetime of troubles, depression, being heavily medicated for depression all throughout my teen years {even though it is now known that antidepressants are NOT meant for children and can cause "suicidal tendencies" which I HAD, among other horrific side effects}. Side effects got too much so when I was 18 and made my own medical choices, got off the zoloft {cold turkey just like you-and oh if you didnt know zoloft is very similar to paxil}, I was one of the UNlucky ones and had withdrawl so severe it almost killed me. Horrible toxic body from years of the drug, and spent the next few years of my life covered head to toe in painful guttate psoriasis. Felt ugly, disgusting and sick. Since I was no longer on the zoloft to help my mental issues, I dealt with everything by partying like crazy, doing tons of drugs, and drinking. I dont really regret this time in my life because it was a beautiful blur of life, I mean I wasnt just sitting at home depressed at least. I was a raver, a hippy kid, and I truly found a lot of myself during this time. Unfortunately I was only adding to the burden of an already very toxic life. I ate terribly, mostly meat and potatoes, thick with margarine {I want to cry thinking of it now}. I also made the terrible mistake of getting on the birth control pills, which were the start of what threw my body overboard into having terrible cystic acne. Life went on like this for awhile.
Im 25 now. Everything Ive described happened between the ages of 12 and 24. Between age 23 and now, I really began changing my life. Most of the major changes have happened in the last year. I became a vegetarian at age 23. Started doing cleanses. I began with bowel cleansing but I really discovered parasite and liver cleansing in the past year. In the past year I also quit smoking pot and ciggarettes, and drinking. Well I didnt quit drinking all together but I mostly quit partying. I mean I have 2-3 drinks maybe once every two months or so. I used to get blackout drunk at least 3-4 nights a week.
Im sharing all this because I want you to know there is hope. You have feverishly overcleansed your body so much, it is like your body feels attacked. Just reading the writings in your post and it makes me anxious and stressed feeling. That is coming across, and its not the path to healing. You first need to take a step back and realize you have been through a lot and so has your body, BUT you are still young and you can and WILL heal and have a beautiful life. Know this, no matter how hard it feels to believe.
You need to take care of your mind and body together. I recommend getting into something like Yoga or meditation, and really breathing, relaxing, learning to look inside and love yourself and your organs and thank them for everything you have been through. You have so much negativity stored inside of you, and I understand what thats like, trust me, Ive been there. When I liver flush I still feel old emotions sometimes coming out. Im STILL healing from being on that evil toxic zoloft for all those years. And Ive been off it almost 7 years now.
Dont think about "cleansing" for awhile. I believe you will need to flush in the future, but I think you need to get yourself right mentally first. I recommend a simple regimen, a healthy clean diet{high fiber}, some essential fatty acids like flax or fish oils, maybe nutritional smoothies made every day would be good. Do something simple and healthy along with yoga or meditation, and try to stick to it for a little while.
Once you feel more balanced you should do a lot of research to see what cleanses, if any, your body needs. Try to surround yourself with positivity if you can. Ill be praying for you. Please come back and let me know how you are doing, I feel for you so much based on the similarities in our stories. Let me know if you would like to chat sometime ok? I have MSN messenger and email. Just let me know.