Oh I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time of it mentally, hopinso. I grew up in a household very similar! Food was always used as a consolation and a reward, and sometimes as a substitute or entertainment (you know..."hey mom's busy for a minute - leave me alone! here take this cookie and go sit down")
I too am still struggling with this.

You have such a great attitude, and such strength. You're always here for everyone else, and it's nice to be able to be here for you! Please continue to post daily thoughts, it really helps, as you most likely already know. I'm wishing you continued luck on your road to good health, and sending you good thoughts for your liver flush.

((((hopinso)))) glad this morning is looking brighter for you :)

I can see how emotions can run high while on the MC, especially if there has been episodes in the past with depression, ect.

Your rule while growing up is something I wanted to comment on.

I try not to impose those kinds of rules on my kids, they love snacks, and are taught that they can't have anything until they eat real food first.

I know many people turn to food when something goes wrong and would love it if that was something they didn't learn to do. It can be a struggle since now that my son is older and sees what his friends get as opposed to what he gets.

I also am very stingy on what snacks I buy, mostly being fresh fruit and yogurt but they get goldfish crackers, pretzels (son hates those tho) and I will buy them chips/cookies once a month or so. ( I know I know, some will say oh no! milk products )

I don't want to push snacks on them, and I don't want to make them never have them so that is what they always want either! It's a fine line, and my son complains that we don't have enough snacks in the house at least twice a month.. lol

We are a no soda household, and this just really seems to be a strange thing to most. I let my son have soda when we go out to eat or order in (which is about 2 times a month). But normally he ends up getting a powerade type drink instead.

My three year old just had her first taste of soda at a family b-day party 2 weeks ago! LOL She hasn't asked for another and says that she doesn't like soda.

I've gone off on a rant, sorry! :) I do hope your day gets better and better. I also skipped my AM SWF (Salt-Water-Flush) since having to get my son into school, I'll try for one later on tonight.

And, I'd just finished day one. And, now this morning, I'm starting to feel like I'm doing everything "wrong" and "stupid" again (like I was taught to feel as a child). I thought I had challenged that and gotten away from it, but now it seems like
everything I touch ends up "wrong" lately. I feel like whatever I say is stupid, whatever I do is wrong, and whatever I think is
dumb. Why would I start feeling like this again? What's going on? I wonder if it has something to do with detoxing. I know I've been a big emotional eater and am trying to get away from it. Anyway, I don't like this feeling.

Rach

Thank you to everyone who responded to my post. Its caring people like y'all that makes this forum so special. I doubt if very many of us could do this alone. I can definately relate and agree with everything written. I,also grew up with a feeling that I was "wrong" and "bad". That fostered low self esteem issues I still have to deal with. Another thing is the questioning and sometimes rejecting old habits and belief systems. I have recently seen how emtpy and lifeless my old performance based religion was, and am now trying to live, act and react through grace and faith. This change of attitude enraged members of my old church, and even though I left that church I still get a lot of criticism from the membership. Yet I am closer to God now, than when I was just a religious worker with little faith to fall back on. Anyway that's a little of my story.
I wish more people could see the many benefits of fasting, whether its MC, juice or water, beyond the weight loss aspect. Losing weight is nice, I rejoice over the ten pounds I've lost so far. Yet the physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits of fasting are so great, although often difficult to go through. If all we concentrate on is "I can't eat", or "I can't wait to eat", or on weight loss alone we miss the greater aspects of the fast. I hope some of you who are so much better with words than I am will keep spreading the message.
My morning appointment is now an afternoon appointment, but I still have that flat tire to deal with, so its off to town.
Thanks again everyone -G-

I struggle with the emotional eating as well. Hopefully this experience will help us both gain back some control.